Cancer Lesson #1 - In Real Life

I keep wondering how cancer will change me, and I guess it’s just too soon too tell. 

But there is one thing that I have already learned that is a direct result of this cancer. I want more in real life” times with my friends. I want more face to face encounters and more get together and more "in real life" time together. 

I want to see you. And you. And you. And I want my girls to know that seeing you is important. That friendship is more than a text and a “like” on Facebook. That taking time to stop and say “hi” MATTERS!! We keep telling our kids to "get off their devices and be with their friends" - yet so often our friendships are reduced to keeping up with one another via Instagram and a text now and again. 

I want to put aside the busyness of business that doesn’t matter. I want to show people that when I say “I love you”, it means “I love you enough to make time for you”.  When you come 2500 miles closer to me, I will come the last 250 to you. Even if its just for a couple hours - because it's worth it. 

 

I want to gather friends together and fellowship over food. Sometimes fancy and sometimes a drink on the front porch - impromptu an casual.




Cancer lesson #1 - life is short an unexpected and goes by too fast. Take time for what matters.

Do life in Real Life. 

To My Daughters on Valentines Day

Dear girls, 

Today, your news feed will be flooded with grand gestures of love - flowers and dinners and romantic gestures that are surely Instagram worthy and #besthusbandever proclamations. 

Don’t buy the lie. 

Let me show what what real, lasting, #hasyourbacknomatterwhat love looks like 

It looks like a midwestern boy who prefers mashed potatoes and gravy over most foods trying something “exotic” (to him) that he pretty much hates because you had a rough final and needed some cheering up

It looks like a guy with no mechanical aptitude who goes to bed at 9 staying up till midnight by himself in a cold garage Christmas Eve so his special needs daughter had the only thing she wanted for Christmas on Christmas. 
As a note, it also looks like the dad who helps this special needs daughter with her pads when she has her periods. 

It looks like a guy stepping way outside what he knows doing something he doesn’t like because it needs to be done. It also looks like doing dishes and laundry. Without being asked. And cleaning up the dog poop, taking the trash out, vacuuming, and making beds because he’s part of the family and doesn’t expect you to do it -even though he also works all day outside the house while you have the luxury of staying home to be available for your kids. 
As a note, it also looks like the man who left the house at 6 am and got home at 7 pm every day, and then spent his Saturday's taking his kids to the zoo - just so his wife could have some alone time in the house. Every Saturday. For five years. His hobby is his kids. 

It looks like a man who lets you be the strong, sassy, stubborn, smart woman you are who takes care of yourself and everyone else - until you can’t and then he steps into that role along with all the other ones he fills and takes care of you and your people too. Girls - don't miss this one. 

Don’t settle for the social media definition of love that’s grand gestures of proposals worthy of you tube and designed to gather “likes” and “loves” by perfect strangers. It doesn’t hold up when life gets hard - and I promise you life will get hard. Find the guy who looks like your dad - with his warped sense of humor and inept attempts to parent teen girls who are alien creatures and short fuse for shoes left all over the house and sibling squabbling but has the heart of a man who seeks God first, loves his wife more than himself and who has sacrificed his life for his kids. 

Because my dear girls - that is true love. And it's celebrated every day in the little things.

Love - 

Your Mom  (who can not believe most days how lucky she is to have married your dad)