Last Post

Finally - this will be my last post from China! Today was our last day here, and it was raining, so we stayed pretty close to "home" and had play dates in the hotel instead! We did a little more last minute shopping, ate at Lucy's one final time, and ...GOT KATIE"S VISA! We can bring her home - Praise the Lord!

Big Day

Today, we had two very big things occur. First, there was in the infamous "red couch" picture - where all the kids dress in traditional dress and group photos are taken. We had a relatively fair degree of success with this!

In the afternoon - we went to the US Consulate for the swearing in ceremony. They did a final check on the paperwork, then the parents took an oath that all the information we have given is correct - then - we're done! Katie's visa & brown envelope will be done tomorrow - and we can come home! We are not allowed to bring any cameras into the Consulate, but the girls looked cute waiting to go & on the bus!

How am I?

Several of you have emailed or commented and want to know "but how am I really doing now?" Here's the answer - but be prepared - its' not all pretty.

First, I am ready to go home. I hate it here right now. Yes, you heard me right - I am using the word hate. I am tired of living in a hotel. I am tired of Chinese food, I am tired of buffet breakfasts. I hate being bused around everywhere.I want a big bowl of popcorn and a hamburger that tastes like a hamburger. I miss my dog. I miss my kids. I miss my husband most of all.

Next - I don't know how I will leave the people we are traveling with. They have become family while we are here & I am going to miss them terribly. I am sad to be leaving them in two days.

Third, I love watching Katie unfold. Every day, a little more of her personality emerges. I joked before we got her that she would be my "sweet" child (because thing 2 certainly is not sweet - a lot of other great things - but not that!) - and she is. She is so affectionate - loves getting kisses and being hugged. I believe that this child will have a capacity to love bigger than I can ever imagine. She gets so excited for things - finding joy in almost everything right now.

Fourth, I am angry. At a country where a child who may not be perfect is written off - by everyone. Even our guide in Beijing didn't seem to think Katie had any value (thankfully, our guide here in Guangzhou is amazing, and has been able to actually understand a few of her words). These six kids in our group are amazing kids - who left up to this country would be cast away and never have families. I am angry at a birth family who could walk away from such a loving little girl - how cold they have shattered her heart into a million pieces that day? (and please don't give me all the practical answers and politically correct rhetoric - at the end of the day, a mother or father made a choice to leave their child on the steps and walk away) I am angry at an orphanage that holds itself up to be the "flagship" of the system in China, yet neglected these kids.

Finally - I am eternally grateful to a God who made this journey possible, Who provided the guidance we needed to begin, the resources we needed to pay for it, the love & support while I have been here and who is knitting out family together. I love seeing Katie spontaneously give Becky a kiss, or Becky tell me "we take Katie home" - even though Katie has rocked her world & stolen her mommy, I love that when I get on the computer & start skype, Katie calls out "baba" - she is starved for a daddy's love - and I can't wait till she gets it. God had held me up - given me the Word each day through LIsa and sustained me through the prayers of those who don't know me - but know I need help. I am in love with my Savior - who loves me more than I can imagine.

Here's some loving happening here....

Beijing Zoo

It suddenly occurred to me that many days ago (they are all running together now) we visited the Beijing Zoo and I don't think I posted it about it! To be honest, it's not a great zoo - a very pretty setting and the panda exhibit is nice, but hte rest of it would make PETA's head spin around - and was pretty sad. But - since this is a journal for our family, and since I took some cute pictures - it gets a post!

Outback

Sometime you just have to have a steak - and that's how we felt on about day 248 (ok - maybe day 8) of eating chinese food!

Boycott Ended

Naptime on Tuesday.....

Receiving

Several days ago (they are all running into each other at this point), I wrote about it being easier to give than receive. On Sunday, we went to church in Guangzhou, and the Lord took me a bit further on that thought. First, going to church in China is neat - and I'm not sure how it works with this little church here on Shamain Island. But they preach the word & are very evangelical - and I"m not sure how they do that in this country of religious persecution - but they do. This little church means the world to me - it was the first church Becky ever went to - and one of the first times she connected with me. I was excited to take her back

-

During the praise & worship time, one of the songs talked about being still and receiving from God. Now, being still is something I will NEVER be accused of - and as I already confessed, I'm not very good at receiving. During this time with the Lord, I began to connect that if I can't receive good & tangible gifts from people, how will I ever truly be able to accept all the Lord has for me spiritually? How will I ever truly allow Him to give me what I need? How can I truly be a spirit led mom if I can't receive what the Holy Spirit has for me? The first time I was in this church, I was over whelmed by the goodness of God, the wonder of His work in Becky and the vastness of His Kingdom connecting believers from across worlds together. This time, I am humbled by His gentleness as He grows me & guides me through Katie and through all those around me who offer to help. I am learning that in accepting their help, I am also receiving what the Lord has for me.

I loved taking my girls to church - and I love that they will both have the opportunity to grow up in a country where we still can chose where we worship, can proclaim the name of our Lord Jesus Christ proudly (although we often choose not to - but that's another post for another time) and that they will know that while people may have abandoned them & let them down -their Father in Heaven never did and never will.

The Boycott

So would someone explain to me how "thing 1" and "thing 2" - who simply can not stand each other right now, who do not speak the same language, and who do not understand the meaning of the word "cooperation" could manage to agree to boycott their naps?? I tried to get them to nap today - and at one point was so frustrated with both of them that I simply put my ipod on, turned up the praise music & turned my back on them. Several songs later, I glanced behind me to see what they were doing (because I couldn't hear them with the music up so loud!). This is what I saw....

It totally diffused me being angry at them, so I got them up (and dressed!) & we went shopping!

The Club

Everyone was really anxious to get to the White Swan Hotel yesterday. Beijing was a hard trip - the hotel is not particularly warm and welcoming - especially for a large group with a lot of kids, a the city is grey, cold & cloudy - and we were there for a lot of days. Coming to the White Swan for most of us is a little like coming home. This is the second adoption for all five families, so we have all spent some time here. It is also the last stop before home. Getting here is a little like belonging to a very special club! We were happy to be here - and started off our stay with our own first attempt at a "Red Couch" photo...

The shirts we all wore were made by Angel - one of the moms in our group. The front says "Where there is faith, there is hope" - as all the kids in this part of our travel group are from the Project Hope list. The back is a map of China with the scripture "And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me" - perfect!

Having breakfast at the White Swan is like joining the private club of those blessed by China adoption. With the recent slowdown of non special needs referrals, I was concerned that there would not be a lot of families here. It was so nice to see lots of adoptive families at breakfast this morning - both new babies (whose families have waiting almost 4 years for them) and older kids. The other private club experience is eating at Lucy's - the american style restaurant next door to the White Swan. We joined the Glass family there for lunch - it was great! I had one of the best grilled cheese sandwiches I've eaten here.

My Frequent Flyers

Yesterday, we flew from Beijing to Guangzhou. We had a big group - with many toddlers and there was a high level of anxiety about how the flight would go. I am thrilled to report that all was well; Katie fussed a little bit about not being able to unbuckle her seat belt, but both girls actually slept for about an hour - I got to eat & read my book a little bit!

Bathing Beauties

One of the great successes in Becky & Katie being together is in the water. They can bath together for 30 minutes with no conflict - and the pool is the same. We haven't had much chance to swim, but took some time this afternoon to get them down there.

Getting Ready to go - the pool at the hotel requires we all wear bathing caps (which is why there are no pictures of me!)

Becky's new best friend is Adam Rice

- she just loves him and asked all afternoon where he was...

I think that Leah also likes Adam.... a romance in Beijing??

Katie really is having more fun than this picture shows - she played with Ashton for a long time in the pool and was carrying on & giggling and "talking" her talk.

Saturday morning, it is off to Guangzhou where we will finish the US paperwork. We have more days behind us than in front of us - thank God. These extra three days in Beijing have taken a toll on everyone & if we could hijack the plane and head to the states, we might consider it!

Better to Give

I, like many others, always thought the phrase "better to give than receive" was about the giving part. That it meant we should be cheerful givers and be thinking more about others than ourselves. That we should look for ways to give and not expect anything back. That it's about changing our hearts to be less focused on our treasures here on earth. While I think all of this is true & right, I believe that for the last 47 years, I have missed the point.

The past 10 days, I have had to ask for & receive help. This is not a position I am used to. We are financially blessed, healthy and generally want nor need for anything. This past week as our family changed, I humbled myself in ways I had never been able to before and received from people - and it was much harder to receive than it ever was to give. I have much more trouble receiving than giving - so "it's better to give than receive" sure is true for me. It's easier to do & does not require me to show my vulnerability or my weaknesses. But God wants me to show that - so He can work in me through others around me. He wants me to admit my short comings and remember that I need Him and the body of Christ. That on my own - I can do nothing, but through Him, all things are possible.

My friend Lisa fasted and prayed for us. Every morning, I wake up to amazing scriptures and a devotional that she has written just for me. Now, this friend had 5 or 6 small children at home so it's not like she has a lot of free time. Yet she has chosen to give me a great gift. My first thought was "what can I do to say thanks? to repay her this kindness?" But God doesn't want me there; He wants me to accept her gift - to grow from it and to humbly say "thank you". To Kim, who has kept this journal updated for us. To the people who want to bring us meals when get home. To the people in our travel group who have gone above & beyond to help us. To all those who have prayed without ceasing while we are here. To those who walked my dog and fed my family while I was gone. Thank you. It doesn't seem like enough - but it's exactly what God wants to hear from me.

The Equalizer

Around the world, the universal equalizer is...ice cream! Everybody likes it, you can get it every where, and it soothes even the most distressed soul!

The Summer Palace

We have finally finished all the paperwork here in Beijing, so we are now touring, which is interesting with all these people! There are 8 children 6 and under, 4 kids ages 7-11, three teenagers, 4 grandparents and 10 adults! Our poor guide is getting lessons in herding cats! Wednesday, we went to the Summer Palace, which even in the dead of winter is an amazingly beautiful place.

Getting lined up to go - it was chilly, so everyone is very bundled - they couldn't move if they wanted to!

The "Displaced Princess" Club - Becky, Annagrace & Annagrace with MollyClaire (one of the offenders) getting in on the act in the background!

I think the highlight of the Summer Palace tour was the frozen lake. I am sure it is beautiful in the summer, but it can't be as much fun. The red sign in the left of the picture says "no walking on the ice" - which we did like the chinese tourists & ignored!

(

It was so much fun - we did leave Katie on the shore with Tia Annie, poor thing has such poor muscle tone that walking on flat ground can be a challenge for her, so the ice was out of the question. But those who ventured on had a blast!

Tia Annie owns the place!

Our fashion statement for the day - I didn't buy one of these for Becky - but she wants one badly, so my shopping consultant Angel is on the job!

Done in from the day ....