Home Stretch

We are in the home stretch. The consulate appointment is done and we are now just waiting to have Cami's visa picked up tomorrow - then HOME!!

This is the time in the trip when I am the most homesick. The rush of the "work" is over, there have been plenty of sight seeing excursions (a post with those photos when I get home - there are a lot of them and I don't want to ask Kim to sort through it all!). I have eaten enough Chinese food for the next six months and I am tired of sleeping on a wooden board. The novelty of being here is gone and I am done. I have been packed since Tuesday!

One of the things that makes these trips bearable is the people you share it with. Of course it has been fabulous traveling with our CWA friends the Cross family, and we had another family with us that became fast friends. The girls especially got along -

There were many tears from the small ones today when they left to go home. Cami held it in till we got in the van to go to the consulate, then she put her head in my lap and these big tears rolled out of her eyes - a totally silent cry. Absolutely broke my heart.

Before they left yesterday, we took a little expedition to the "island" and bolstered the local economy a bit! We also paid a visit to the White Swan. The hotel is undergoing renovations and all the guest rooms are under construction, but the first and second floors are open - the shops and restaurants. It was decorated very lovely for Christmas and the girls enjoyed it -

We did discover that the red couched have been replaced by new red couches - that lack the sentimentality and charm of the old red couches so we skipped the picture. It just would not have been the same.

It's been fun - but we are ready!

Do not be afraid

There is so much about special needs adoption that can be fearful - but I think the biggest fear is the actual special need itself . The question of whether or not I can actually parent a child with the special need presented rolls around your head and too often gives satan the foothold he needs to keep a child in darkness.

I am here today to testify today that we miss out when we give in to this fear. Awhile back, (many months ago), I clearly remember seeing advocacy posts for a little blind boy. He was so adorable!
I remember seeing him and thinking that was a special need I could not do. I remember praying for this child-that some family would step up and step out for him.

I am blessed to a year later to be traveling with his family and their child. All I can say is that this is absolutely the most precious and darling little boy with the most enchanting personality I have ever met.

He has blossomed in only 10 days - captivating the hearts of literally everyone he comes in contact with! This is a terrible quality photo - but I love his smile - it SO captures who this child is becoming!

Imagine where this child would be if this family had let fear rule them. If they had played the "what if" or "we could never..." game.

Worse than that though, imagine where this family would be without this child - special need and all.

Do not be afraid.

(the post script - he is a real talker and is so cute as he talks away with perfect clarity and diction for a 3 year old....something all have encouraged - until our guide told us tonight that one of his favorite phrases and one of the oh so cute ones translates to "poopy head")

Delight

Today's post was supposed to be about our trip to the Safari Park. But that will have to wait - because I just need to share some delight - utter and pure and joyful delight!

Tonight, Cami's new friend and her mom (who is now my new friend!) stopped by our room after dinner. We had skipped dinner and the girls had made known their disappointment in that, so they came for a visit. They had a blast - there was laughter and bed jumping and light playing. There is no better music to a mother's ear than to hear their child's laughter - and when that child came from a place where there probably wasn't much laughter - it is like the choir of heaven's angels rejoicing!

After our friends left (a little later than normal -but well worth it!), Cami took a bubble bath. Up till now, she had been showering, but tonight I had run her a bubble bath. To say she liked it....well, that just doesn't do it justice!

New friends and bubble baths - life just doesn't get much better than this - for anyone!

So today my friends - try both....it is sure to bring joy!!!

Privileged

Some days, I just feel so privileged to be where I am. Today was one of those days. It started off with a clear TB test for Cami AiLiu (not that I was even concerned - but it's just one more thing checked off the list) and a laundry pick up. Now, clean underwear may not be a big deal for you, but it is for me - especially when someone else does it for me!

After all the business, we went to the Yuntai Park and Botanical Gardens. It's the first real "sight seeing" we have done - and I have to say, I am glad we did it. A beautiful place to remind me of the majesty of God -

Cami Ai Liu also made a new friend; we were joined by another CWA family today for these last few days. They are from my home state of New Jersey and are adopting a 9 year old daughter. The girls were very shy and reserved with each other at first, but by dessert time tonight, they were chattering away (would love to know what they were talking about - probably comparing notes on their crazy new moms!) 

After this beautiful beginning to the day, it got even better after lunch. I got to witness the "birth" of yet another child go from orphan to beloved. Roy and Lori allowed me the honor and privilege of being with them when they went to meet Joy for the first time. They first met this child last summer while they were adopting another little boy from her orphanage. Through their transformed lives and the power of the Holy Spirit speaking into them, 14 months later - they became her forever mom and dad. It was awesome - she was standing in the doorway of the waiting playroom when we walked into the civil affairs office. She saw Roy and Lori - broke free of her foster mom and raced into their arms (much to the utter dismay of the Chinese officials who quickly intervened and dragged her back till the "papers" could be checked)!

It was a God ordained, Holy Spirit filled moment - when as the song says "Heaven reached down and touched earth with a sloppy wet kiss."

Oh - HOW HE LOVES US! 

Not us

I have been simply over whelmed by the outpouring of love and support through all the reader comments. It absolutely stuns me to think that God is using me - imperfect, messed up me - to touch people's hearts. I am humbled by the kindness of strangers and the prayers on behalf of our family - it is God's love up close and personal for me. But I need to set the record straight about something-and this is important.

You see - this - what Doug & I and our family is doing - is not us doing it. It is the Holy Power of Jesus in our lives working - transforming us, shaping us, moving us towards Him that allows us to step out in faith and walk this journey. At this time of the year, when we remember Jesus' coming to earth - we need to remember what He came for - and what He left us with - the Holy Spirit to transform our lives. Today - I got to take Cami AI Liu to her first church service - where I praised God and heard the message of the gospel that reminded me mightily this.

1. 

Some may say "but you are being obedient to the call of God in your life" so it is you. Nope. It's not. You see, Jesus calls us to live transformed lives - we are new creations in Him. We are to abide in Him. We are to follow Him. We are to serve Him by serving others. We are to put others before us - all the time. That's what a transformed life looks like.

Obedience has an overtone of obligation - of choice. Because we are living transformed, when called - we did. Not a choice to obey, just lives being lived.

We got to be in church today with a special family who is also living a transformed life - Roy and Lori Cross are here with us adopting their 8th and 9th children - I think it's number 5 & 6 from China! As I looked down our row, I saw Cami Ai Liu and Joshua Song - who not because of us but because of a mighty and merciful God came to earth to transform our lives so we could be a part of His plan to transform theirs. Humbly - on our knees we were today - because our God sees fit to use our families in this plan.

(yes - that is Elvin in church with us! Pray for him...he is off to become a daddy and I think today, maybe today, he and Jesus had a little get together)

Our transformed lives are still a bit of a mess. We still yell at our kids, think nasty thoughts about our enemies (and even sometimes utter those thoughts), hold back what ever it is God is asking us to give, are critical and bossy and pushy (wait that's just me not Doug!)....well, you get the picture. But every once in a while- God in His unbelievable & indescribable grace and power, uses our messed up but transformed lives to show His glory.

While I appreciate the accolades, and to be honest it feels good to hear people say such nice things about us - it's not us. The glory belongs to God - as does 100% of the credit.

Where to begin?

Today was a loooong day. It is a 4 /12 hour drive to Maoming and the orphanage so we got up early, had room service breakfast and were on the road by 7:15 am. With a few pit stops, we arrived at the orphanage at 11:45 (and only one small bout of car sickness about 3/4 of the way there!). When we pulled into the parking lot - there was literally a welcoming committee there!

This is her teacher at the school (she attended school in the SWI along with some other children whose special needs did not allow then to attend hte local school) The older girl is waiting for her family; as soon as we got there, she wanted to know if I knew her family & knew when they were coming. It was another God moment, for I had been contacted by her mom, and had both a family picture for her and a gift. NOTE-if you have a waiting child - and someone offers to take something to the SWI for them - DO IT!!! If you think the wait is hard for you - I can tell you after talking to her, it is BY FAR harder on the kids!

We then spent some time with these kids and others whom I had been asked to take pictures for their families. I have to say, it is such an honor to be able to send photos back to mom's and dad's who are waiting. I know the wait. I know the sustenance each precious morsel of information provides.

After I got my business done, I found out some interesting information. Most notably, Maoming SWI participates in what they call "imitation families." Four children live with a foster mom (not clear if it was on site or off - but I think it was on site) and Ai Liu had an imitation family. With an imitation mom. That she had for 4 years. That loved her - and that she loves.

Our amazing guide Elvin asked her if she loved her imitation mom - and she said yes and she was sad to be leaving her. Elvin explained it was ok to love both moms, and that she could stay in touch with her imitation mom. Her foster mom seemed SO happy for her - and it was clear that she was loved by her. I am so grateful for that love that she received.

Ai Liu was the oldest of the four and the other three seemed to have fairly severe special needs, yet the mom loved them and they were a little family. I am SO glad I got an opportunity to meet them - and that she got the chance to say good-bye. 

I am going to step way out on limb here - to those who are waiting to travel, if it is at all possible - visit the orphanage. For both Becky and now Ai Liu, we endured 8+ hours in the car in one day to do that - and it was a priceless opportunity for me to see and learn, and it provides closure for the kids. Most guides - and most agencies - will try to dissuade you. There is a belief that these children should be placed with you and never look back, but the fact is, they need closure. Press for it - you are the client and you are in charge of your child's well being. For kids that are grieving and having a tough transition, this might give them what they need to grieve and move forward. Even Becky at 14 months needed it. Ai Liu clearly did - and I was provided with some critical information that simply was not in the report. The Director remembered the day she was found - 6 years ago, and told me about the tiny little girl left at the gate. I met her foster mom. Skip the sight seeing for a day, and do something that will have lasting emotional value for you and your child. 

(ps- on the ride home - no car sickness at all!!!) 

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

Thank you to all who have been praying for Doug & the girls! If I knew the person who invented Skype, I would kiss them! It has been a life saver to be able to talk a couple of times a day and with the phone application, I can even say goodnight to the girls no matter where I am!

They are doing good - ok....Becky is - to quote her "having a hard time and trying really hard." Doug managed to make it to work three days this past week - although for one of them he had a 4 year old assistant! It is hard to be away from them - and really hard to miss some important dates - like Becky's Christmas Pre-school program. Thanks again to the miracle of technology, I woke up to find a video on my phone - and some pictures in email, but it is just not the same as being there to see my Angel.

Doug had to have some parental participation to ease her into the whole thing - but once it started- all was well!

]

I sure do miss my girls - 6 sleeps!!

I saw some things today

I saw a man stand up in a VERY nice restaurant and yell across it for service and no one seemed to mind - not the people he was with, not the server he yelled at, not the other patrons.

I saw my very first Chinese adult with down syndrome in the same restaurant - don't see too many special needs adults in China - unless they are half naked and begging on the street.

I saw people try to fit two buses and one car into the exact same spot on the road with nary a horn blown or curse  word uttered - several times.

I saw people be outright rude and openly stare at my daughter and I - and  not in a nice way.

I saw a shop keeper extend extraordinary kindness to my daughter.

I saw unbelievable bravery in a mom traveling with her sister to adopt two boys - one with down syndrome. Their father passed away a few days into the trip. Please pray for them - their grief is deep.

I saw my daughter pose for the camera without a care in the world this morning...

I saw the doctor at the medical clinic who told me after he examined Katie 2 years ago " you know she will never be able to learn anything" (I was very good and fought the urge today to tell him how wrong he was!)

The medical clinic visit is always hard for one reason or another. With Becky, it was simply the uncertainty of it all. With Katie, it was the 7 vaccinations they required (thankfully the US has changed that regulations). With Ai Liu....oh it was bad. First, the nurse came in to do the ear & eye exam. Part of her scaring is her left ear is badly damaged. This nurse tugged and pulled and pushed trying to get a look in her ear. It wouldn't have made me so made, except this was the same woman that 3 1/2 years ago looked in Becky's ear and gave her a clean bill of health - never mind the SEVERE ear infection she had in both ears. This nurse has zero credibility with this momma - and her lack of compassion almost made me come unglued. 

Had to imagine, but it got worse, because in waltzed in the doctor who after examining Katie two years ago, told me "You know, she will never be able to learn anything. She is too mentally damaged." Yep -that's what he said. He's not my favorite person to start with, ad then when he started examining Ai Liu, and poking & prodding her scar tissue - when he started turning her hands this way &that - I pulled her onto my lap - and gave him my best "that is enough" look. Elvin got us out of there - quickly! 

Some retail therapy and a good dinner helped --- but looking back at this photo from the morning was the best balm for a hard visit!

How are we doing?

I have to say I am absolutely over whelmed at the prayers that are being raised up on our behalf - thanks to Kim & her loyal readers! Your comments have been such an encouragement. It is hard to be here - 7000 miles (or whatever it is!!) away from my husband and other kids, and I have to say I am feeling the love of all of you across the ocean. Thank you - it means more than you can ever know! (Because a couple of comments referred to traveling alone and/or older kids, I am putting together my thoughts on that too for one of these days) 

AI Liu is doing well - we have had no tears yet, although I did detect a bit of sadness today during the paperwork - followed by another bout of car sickness, so my momma instinct tells me it is as much emotional as anything else (and can you believe I can not find anything that even resembles ginger candy for her in China- what????) 

She is starting to learn to enjoy some of the perks of being a Yingling - most notably the presents from Grandma!! 

She also is becoming a big fan of all things Christmas! Which is good because she will land right in the thick of it all!! This tree is in the lobby of our hotel and is HUGE!!!

She is doing well! She and I are doing well! 

We could use prayer however for the car sickness as we have a very long ride (two ways) on Saturday back to her orphanage to say good-bye to her friends. I think it is so important for her to have that closure and to process her sadness at leaving all that she has known - but it won't be comfortable for anyone if she is sick the whole time.

The second day and the question of why?

The second day of these adoption trip is always the longest for me and my children as it is filled with the most paperwork. We have been amazingly blessed in that the paperwork is moving through on the wings of eagles and with some God ordained help!  You see, it turns out that the Civil Affairs Adoption Officer is a friend of the guide that was with Debi Strong when Debi first saw Cami AiLiu and helped with some of the logistical information. She has become personally interested in  Ai Liu''s case, and could not have been nicer to us over the past two days. There is something magical about having a personal relationship with the person who "pronounces you parent & child"! It was all very emotional for me - because I sat in the same chair across the desk from the same person who 3 1/2 years ago made me a mom for the first time with Becky. If Mei Bellack at CWA is my midwife, then Wensi Liang is the delivery doctor! 

The second day, however, is difficult because you are asked a question that I always struggle with --- "why do you want to adopt from China?"

After three trips you would think I had the right and succinct answer but really how do you explain in 10 words or less.

That we are called by God to care for those that cannot care for themselves to a person who has no concept of God?

That every life even those of the seemingly imperfect is deeply valued and deserving of love in a culture where that is far from the reality? 

That our God led us to find our daughters in China clearly and without doubt in a country where a political party is deemed to be the only one worthy of being followed?

This trip, more than the others, I am struck at the paradoxical nature of this country. A country where everyone has an Iphone, but young well educated wives are still sent back to their husband's families to give birth because they are no longer a part of their families, but their husband's family? A country where bicycles share the roads with rickshaws? Where the top designer stores are literally around the corner from the poultry cage markets? It is a conundrum at best and a country on a crash course at worse. 

"why do we want to adopt from China?'

"because that it where our daughters are!"

Now I lay me down to sleep

Now that I have an amazing sleepy beauty in the other room, I have some quiet time to collect my thoughts and record the events of today. And what a day...there is no doubt that my God went before me today. 

We pulled up in front of the provincial affairs office and I was transported back to May 26, 2008 - for it is the same place where I first met Becky. However, that was where the similarities ended. When we got the to adoption room - a room that 4 years ago held 20+ families, it was empty. Having been there before, I knew where to look for my girl - and saw her quietly sitting in the kids waiting room, by herself, looking so small and forlorn that my heart just broke apart. We took care of the paperwork, then Elvin (our guide) told me to come - it was time to meet her. They brought her out, and led her over....

and my heart just stopped. I sat down, she came over - and took my hand. She looked into my eyes and held my gaze for moments, then leaned into me.

It was like her heart knew that she was home. 

The next hour was unbelievable. The director that was with her from her SWI clearly cared about her. When Elvin told her that Ai Liu would have surgery soon, the Director was more animated than I have ever seen any Chinese person. She got tears in her eyes and "thanked us for our sweet hearts." 

They also gave Ai Liu a small photo book and there was a poster from her group saying goodbye to her. There was a drawing of a heart for her baba and me, and one for her sisters. The staff had clearly been preparing her and encouraging her.

The most precious gift was a memory book of her time in pre-school and school in the SWI  - for the last 4 years. It is probably 100 pages thick with notes on her and pictures. I cried when they gave it to me and she and I spent some time looking through it. 

Into the car we went - and up came her lunch shortly thereafter....no need to dwell on that; we'll just chalk it up to the first of many bonding experiences! 

The afternoon and evening passed quickly - she got new toys and new clothes, had dinner and a shower - then played for a little before bed. Tomorrow - we make it official in China's book! 

I am so profoundly grateful to all those who were praying for us today. There is no doubt but that God prepared the way today, and while I know that there are bound to be tears and a tough time (or three) in the coming weeks, I also know that God will sustain us through them. My God is an awesome God - who was and is and always will be. I am humbled tonight by the depth of His love for our family. 

And then there were five...

Just like that - in the blink of an eye - there are five Yingling children. This afternoon was indescribable - but I will try...

She was brought over to me, and smiled.

She looked into my eyes - and I saw hope personified. Through her fear, she knew I would love her.

She has a delightful personality - and is fluent in both mandarin and cantonese. She can count to 10 in English - and has a great sense of humor. 

She loves to draw. And dance.

I am going to go dance with my daughter now - more tomorrow with pictures (once we have finalized) 

PRAISES!!!!! 

Tonight

Dear Cami AiLiu,

I wonder tonight as we go to bed if you know it is your last night as an orphan. Your last night when you belong to no one but the God that is not yet known to you. The last night without a mother's kiss or a father's blessing.

I pray that God is preparing your heart as you sleep to belong. Preparing you to love and to be loved. Preparing you to leave all that you have ever known and all that is familiar to venture deep into the unknown future.

I pray that God is preparing us to be your parents. Preparing us to Shepard you through the physical and emotional healing journey you will be on. I pray God is giving us the wisdom we will need to make decisions for you and the strength to hold you up through them.

I pray God is preparing your heart to be a big sister to two girls who are desperate to love you and that He is gifting you with the patience you will need with them!

I pray that tomorrow His Holy presence will reign down on our family; that His power and majesty and goodness will shine through for all to see and it would show as the unmistakable Hand of God reaching down from Heaven.

Till tomorrow my darling girl.

Better Than

Over the past six months, I have learned a lot. One of the things that I am learning is that sometimes, when God says "no"  - it is because He has something much better in mind than what you asked for. Case in point....

When I heard the White Swan was closed for renovations, I was very disappointed (to say the least). There was a fair amount of whining and gnashing of teeth with my agency about where I would be staying in Guangzhou. You see, this trip is hard for me - emotional as I integrate a new child into our family and as I am separated from my husband. So where I stay helps to sooth those anxieties. I know the White Swan. I am comfortable there. It is a nice hotel. I was not happy that I would have to adjust to somewhere new.

Until I walked into the lobby of our hotel and saw this

Nice tree - in an even nicer lobby.

Got off the elevator on my floor and there was this...

A nice touch of serenity.

The rooms are huge - and they are actually two room suites, with a large marble tub and sitting area and all sorts of nice amenities! Both inside and outside in the lovely "Back Garden"

Way nicer that the White Swan! A lot of fussing on my part - for nothing.

The flight over was fine - I was able to sleep for about 8 hours and hopefully at the right times to mitigate the jet lag. The best part, however, was when I came though customs

and Elvin was waiting for me! Elvin is legendary among CWA families. He was literally a God sent answer to prayer on our trip for Katie, and has a true gift in working with our kids who are in such a hard place when they come to us. I had asked for him, but was told he would not be available as his wife is expecting a baby later this month. I had resigned myself to having a different guide, yet God provided who I needed to help me through these ext tough few days. 

I am awed and humbled by the way God continues to provide for this trip.