Grace Bubbles

It has been a time of transition here, and there is a lot to process and document and write about. In the meantime, there have been some small but memorable things that have happened that are worthy of recording. I heard these kinds of moments referred to once as "grace bubbles" - the small little bubbles in our day that God provides to remind us that He is in this, and cares, and loves us. 

• Apparently, Becky is in a very affectionate kindergarden class; there has been a lot of kissing going on! Poor Mrs. Holloway has her hands full with this group! Becky informed me "William kissed me, but I only let him kiss my arm!" Good thinking girl!
• Cami's classmates continue to "have her back". Her new tutor sat in to observe, and Cami's friend Sammy told her "I am Cami's best friend, Sammy. Who are you and how can I help you?". I love these kids
• Love them even more - one morning, as I dropped Cami off with the third graders, I told her, "I really like your hair today, it looks nice." Her classmate McKenna chimed in "She looks so beautiful, doesn't she Mrs. Yingling". 
• I got a call from Katie's teacher one morning. "Is everything ok?" Katie had told her "I'm sad. I had a bad morning". I have never felt so good - not only did she express herself in a full sentence about how she was feeling, the teacher heard her and called me. We pushed the piano up hill for 2 years with our district - it's finally playing a symphony! 
• Doug & I have worked it out so that every Sunday morning, we have an hour to ourselves while the girls are in 2nd hour Sunday school. We then go to 3rd hour church and they stay for 3rd hour. It's a much needed re-connect time for us. Thank you Ev Free Church for helping make that possible. 
• I am running again. Not long, and not far (yet) but I am out there.

Katie took a couple of karate lessons - she loved it, so we are looking for a studio that will work with her needs and our budget! 

 Becky moved into her own room - and everyone is sleeping just a bit better now! 

 Cami celebrated her first Chinese Mid Autumn Festival in America. We invited her friend Sammy and their family over to celebrate with us. The kids loved hte moon cakes.... 

Grace bubbles abound! 

Cousins!!!!!!

We have been so blessed this week to have my step sister and her family staying with us while they visit the happiest place on earth - which I think is our house right now! She is a few years younger than I am, so for her kids and mine, we are the only set of cousins the right age for one another. We haven't had an opportunity to spend much time together as families, so this past week was a real gift. 

We took the opportunity before church on Sunday to get a group shot - Have you ever seen a better looking better group of cousins??? (Poor Steven - he actually has asked me if we can't get a boy???) 

 We have been suffering a majr heat wave the past few weeks - and Tuesday was forecasted to be close to 100. So I did what every self respecting mom who felt like life is a contest to be voted "the most fun mom" did - we ditched school and went to the beach with our cousins!! 

 Beautiful beach day....

 my sis & her awesome girls! 

 Someone had a bit of an attitude today! 

 Do you have ANY idea how much sand in unfortunate places this generated?!?! 

 Niece Karen and Cami have really hit it off - they are two peas in a pod! It is so nice for me to see. For my daughter who 9 months ago had no family to have a girl cousin that she can nuture a special cousin bond with - priceless!! 

 Yup = two peas in a princess pod!! 

we have a few more days left with them - but I think after today we have them convinced to come back next summer for a beach vacation!!! 

Completely with Adandon

This post is dedicated to my MOAKley moms. My words are but a feeble attempt to express how utterly blessed I feel to be a part of this group. Being a part of what you all are doing has changed me - has opened my eyes and my heart. I see Jesus in you. 

Two weeks ago, I had the honor of attending an amazing event. It was a "Blessings Shower", given by a group of moms for moms. 

But not just any moms. Moms who are moms through foster care. 

I have stepped into holy and hallowed ground with these moms. 

I have had a peek behind the curtain into Heaven. 

These moms take in the most broken of children. 

"This poor little guy was a few weeks old and already had one heart surgery. There was no one to hold him, and when the foster mom saw him at the hospital, she left. The social worker told me "we will just leave him here to rot, he's going to die anyway". I left the hospital that night before Thanksgiving at 11 pm with him." 

These moms love unconditionally - knowing that at any moment, that precious baby can be taken from them and thrust back into an unfit situation

"Tori Sandoval was a beautiful, bright and perfect little 2 year-old girl who died tragically on Easter Sunday morning, April 24, 2011. She had lived with a loving foster family for 8 months that were certified to adopt her should reunification fail with her bio parents.  On September 1, 2010, Tori (at 18 months old) was taken from the Sedgewick home and placed back with her biological mother and father.  Her foster parents, friends and even some family members begged DCFS social workers, supervisors,  and lawyers for months to try and get them to re-examine Tori’s case, but to no avail.  Tragically, on Easter morning, Vyctorya Sandoval was pronounced dead at 3:30 am at Loma Linda Hospital. Her biological parents are facing arraignment in Tori's death." *****

Here is what I learned by the end of that night:

At the end of the day, following Jesus doesn't just mean doing what He did - feeding the hungry, forgiving, offering grace - although those things are incredibly important. It means loving as He did - wholly, with abandon, knowing that you WILL get your heart broken and yet pouring into others with no reservations and no hesitation. 

That's what these moms (and dads) do. 

They take in these kids. And love them. Fully and completely.

With Abandon. 

Knowing that their hearts will in all probability get broken. 

We have a friend who is starting the process to foster. This was a recent experience (the answers were in her head only - she is far too nice of a person to say these things aloud):

Question: Aren't you afraid that you will fall in love with these kids and that it will be hard to give them back? 

(No, I am actually a completely heartless person and that will be a piece of cake!)

 Question: Do you think that is fair to "your" children? 

(My job is not to be fair to my children. My job is to raise them to know, love, and serve Christ and then to love their neighbors as themselves.)

She is stepping into the world with the arms of Jesus - knowing that her heart will be broken yet answering the call to wholly and fully love the least of the least - children's whose parents can't (or won't) parent them. 

The decision we made three weeks ago to release the girls just may be the scariest decision of our lives--one for which God led us to the story of Abraham and Isaac on the altar.....10 months ago we took a step of obedience and opened our home to two precious, hurting baby girls. And as we so often do, we went ahead and tried writing the second half of the story. On paper and in our hearts it looked pretty good. But it was our story, not His. We are so so thankful that He is the Author, the good and perfect Author. And it is all for His glory!

The foundation of faith I have witnessed in these families is beyond humbling and inspiring - it is hard core evidence of a God who is transforming and mighty. 

They are living a life worthy of Jesus. 

They are loving wholly and without reservation. 

As He loves us.

Completely with Abandon.  

**** Tori's case is beyond heartbreaking - it is horrific. A broken system and adults not doing their jobs failed this little angel. For more information on her story and the case against her birth parents, click here. Tori's foster mom is committed to seeing justice done - and more importantly, to exposing and through that changing a broken system so no child will suffer as Tori did. ****** 

Slacker

I have now joined the ranks of "slacker blogger"! One might think that now that my lovely children are all "gainfully cooped" for 7 hours a day, I would have plenty of time too unpack all that is in my head and the words would be flowing. Not so much. I think I am literally in recovery mode - catching up on ALL that got pushed aside over the summer.

I am also in restoration mode - just being for a bit and trying to not feel compelled to fill every moment of every day with an accomplishment. A lot has occurred in our lived in the past 9 months, and I am taking some time to process it. To pray about it. To Praise about it. As I do that, I hope to be able to share with you all that we have learned and the ways we have grown - as parents, as a couple, as a family and as followers of Jesus.

In the meantime - it has been HOT here. 100+ days...we have run the A/C more in the first two weeks of September than we have all summer - and there is not a lot of relief in sight. So Saturday, while Doug stayed home and tried to nurse a few more weeks from the pool (!!), I did what any sane person would do and headed for the beach. It was a double bonus because we picked up our lovely Tia Annie! 

 Poor Tia Annie - it's worse than herding cats right now trying to get a good picture of all three! 

 The other fun thing that happened is Becky started Girl Scouts. I have to confess, this was not something I was seeking out. The stories from friends of the "nazi cookie moms" and the mom politics that seem to haunt most troops is just not something that I have the energy for. I also feel like one or two "extra" things are enough, and Becky has a gymnastics class after school (at school) on Monday and AWANA on Wednesday-so that's enough.

However, one of her pre-school friends mom has started a troop for the girls that were in pre-school together. These girls were in school for three years in the same class, and are the sweetest girls. I know their moms - and love their moms. I also know the mom who is starting it, and she promised me it would be low key and fun. 

So - we started Daisys on Tuesday. 

God has already blessed this decision - when they were closing they sang the song "Make new friends, but keep the old". The words came back to me as if it was yesterday I was singing that in our Brownie troop. I was able to share that with Becky-who was thrilled that she was doing something that mommy had done as a little girl. Very fun for both of us! 

The "Other" Kid

One of the questions I get asked is how all that is going on with Cami and Katie affects Becky. Recently, I  had a conversation with some old friends- women I have known forever and a day. We all have them - the friends that you had long enough and been through enough with that there is a comfort level of complete honesty and up front opinions

That conversation really caused me to sit and reflect - how hard was it on Becky and in twenty years, would she be confronting me in anger and hurt about this time in our lives.

Last night - I was reminded how God uses everything for good.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose

How He loves all my children and while He is using this time to refine Doug and I, He is using it to grow our children.

Becky's first school project was an "All about Me" poster. One of the "apples" to fill in was "If I could have one wish, I would wish for...." 

My sweet girl's wish.....

" to pray for all the people who have been burned"

My five year old - who could have wished for anything - wished to pray for others. 

I think that this is affecting her profoundly - in the very best possible way. 

Summer Endings

how we spent our final days of summer....

the splash park with some school friends

The Seaside Lagoon with our awesome neighbors....

and the pool at Grandma's hotel

it was a fun summer. A long summer. A hard summer. But a fun summer. 

School Daze

Last week was chock full of monumental events - Katie's first day of school, Becky's first day of kindergarden. my 50th birthday and our 10 year anniversary . That's a lot of milestone packed into 5 days! 

The preparation started with kindergarden orientation for Becky - and she was ready! She just sat at her desk and smiled....

her friend Bella (whose sister is in Cami's class) was ready too! 

Before school started however, it was time for their haircuts (I gave Katie a trim at home...she's not the sitting still in a hair salon type of gal!)

ONce the hair was done and orientation was over - we were ready to roll! 

The morning line up! Becky exuded much more confident in this picture than she actually had. 

Cami was delighted to be back with her friends. She had been very anxious the two days before school started - and it all disappeared as she rounded the corner to the playground and saw her classmates from last year.  

heading to class after their first chapel on the first day - Becky loved it...the principal went over the rules! This is a place she could love.....

Being surrounded with so many extremely competent moms who homeschool their kids - often multiple kids with special needs - I sometimes wonder if that would be a good track for our kids. These kids are smart, well adjusted and seem very emotionally secure. They love the Lord, each other, their families. I wonder about my ability (or inability!) to take on that challenge. If I let myself - I can really start to feel woefully inadequate in training my children up in the ways of the Lord. 

But my girls love school. Cami thrives on the structure and routine; she has had fewer rages and struggles since school has started. It helped give her a focus and a purpose, and she needs that.

Becky simply loves to learn - and school is all about that for her. 

Katie needs the structure and focus that her special day class provides. She is surrounded now by the most amazingly gifted teachers and therapists. 

We are blessed that Becky and Cami can attend a great small Christian school. They are surrounded by the Word every day - not just in their bible lessons and memory verses, but in the actions and attitudes of every teacher and staff person. It is the perfect place for them - and they love it! 

One of the things I grieve most about Katie's disability is her inability to attend a Christian school. They are just not equipped to address her needs - even if we could afford to send a full time helper. I found out last week that her teacher and her aide are believers. That they prayed beginning last  spring about the kids that would be in their class. That they pray over their kids desks in the morning before school starts. 

I am simply awed by how God has provided exactly what each of my kids needs in their education. I shouldn't be - but I am.