Midnight Plane to Boston.

One of the things that Covid cancelled last year was Becky's 8th grade American Heritage trip. Ever since Cami went in 2018, it has been Becky's dream to make the trip - so the disappointment was real. Being the mom racked with guilt, I promised we would do our own....so after almost a year of planning - we are off!

 

Since we are trying to be a authentic to the "real" trip as possible - we had to do a red-eye to the east coast! The girls handled it like troopers - but this first day was a little rough! 

Once we got to Boston, we walked onthe greenway and then it was lunch time, so we headed to Quincy market and induldged in some clam chower - and a hot buttered lobster roll! Of course, no meal is complete for the Yingling girls without a little chinese food :) We also marked the location of our dessert later! 

We then ventured over to the New Englad Aquarium. While not exactly on the "original AHT" tour, it's a great aquarium and since this is a homeschool trip and Becky is taking oceanography - I figured that counted as educational! 

A 500+ pound sea turtle was the absolute highlight of the aquarium for me! 

We ended the day at the iconic Legal Seafood with the even more iconic Judith and Avivia! I have know Judith since what feels like before time began but really is about 1991 - so almost a lifetime in years and certainly more than a lifetime of life! We had great food - but even better conversation! 

Day 1 - in the books! 

All day, social media has been filled with "goodbye and good riddance 2020". I can't say that I disagree with that sentiment. At all. It's been a ROUGH last 12 (actually 18 but who's counting) months here for our family. 

But in the midst of all the hard, I want to make sure that I hold onto the good. I want to walk away from what is undeniably the worst year in my history leaving the bad behind, but making sure that I don't "throw the baby out with the bath water" (so to speak). 

The good times and good gelato

The friends who came

Good parties 

Great friends

Family

The underlying these - God. 

God showed up in all the hard of 2020. Faithful. Ever present. 

Here's to 2021. 

Worth it and What If

I miss my family. A lot. My parents and my sister and her kids and my best friends and my daughter and my grand babies. We have been incredibly blessed with neighbors who have become family these past 8 months and I am forever grateful - but I miss my family. 

There's a lot of news lately about the Covid-19 vaccine - from all over and every perspective. I discovered yesterday that I will actually qualify to be in the second phase of people offered the vaccine in California because I am a designated caregiver for a child with special needs. My husband said "but you won't get it right away" - because frankly I am vaccine adverse. I never get the flu vaccination. My teen girls will not get the HPV vaccination. My little one is on a delayed schedule. 

Doug is wrong. I will get this vaccination as soon as I can. 

Because time with my parents is not as long as it used to be 

Because this girl hasn't had a hug from her mom since March

Because I NEED to hold this peanut and not be afraid of infecting her

Because if that's what it takes for Germany to let me in to hug them - then so be it

We have the "what if" test here during Covid - "what if" we saw these dear ones and infected them? Could we live with that - especailly not knowing how this virus affects babies and especially knowing how it DOES effect 81 year old men? 

So - because of the what if - sign me up. Because they are worth it. 

(and please - don't pray for me because I am "taking the mark of the beast" , and pass on sending me the articles about the risks of vaccines. I am a REALLY smart and God fearing person - who does her research, learns what I can, listen to real doctors and prays...) 

290 Days

That’s  how many days I have been in this dance with cancer.  A nice round number. In that time....

1 surgery 

14 Chemo treatments 

24 blood draws

20 radiation sessions

3 ER visits 

2 hospital stays

290 days of unemployment

157 days of pandemic stay at home 

3 students distance learning 

That is a long list of ugly numbers 

But there are other numbers

130 Thank you notes sent - each one representing an act of kidness bestowed upon our family

150 meals provided for my family

100 rides to & from school for my kids

19,414 miles traveled by various out of state visitors to come see me 

48 rides from friends with amazing conversations

20 packages faithfully mailed - one a week 

a million prayers lifted up to God on our behalf

We have had so very many other blessings...

an amazing surgical team (seriously - I love these women; they are my heros and I want to hang out with them they are that awesome)

cute haircuts while I still had hair! 

visits from a friend to help me wig shop (a wig I never, ever wore!) 

miraculous medical poison designed to save my life 

a well rounded head (thanks mom for rotating me often as a newborn!) 

my husband - who has been everything from my barber to my bather to "Mr. Mom" to anything I asked or needed. I have no idea how we would have made it to this side without this amazing man 

fantastic neighbors who made sure that traditions of LOVE were upheld even though I was too sick to carry my weight or even eat

Friends who left their people to sit with me and cook for me and love on me and bridge the loneliness gap 

Mud baths with on line friends who are now in real life GREAT friends! 

Forever friends who drop everything to come give you injections

Friends from long ago who encourage you to try something new (this was in May - haven't done anymore on it as of now....need help from creataive people!) 

Besties who come back to your 'hood after 4 years away - for the wrong reasons, but God knew we would need to be here, together, right now for the same reason 

One helluva amazing oncologist - who put up with lots of whining and fussing and complaining and griping 

My kids - who went through their own special hell during all this - they were amazing troopers! Not bad enough your mom has cancer, but then to have to go into quarantine - they did amazing! 

Being together again safely to celebrate and laugh and just be together! 

A friend who make multiple trips to help and cook and tended to my people 

Celebrating milestone in treatment with my neigborhood "Wine Wednesday" friends - how blessed that our neighbors are more than neighbors 

Inspiration for a new business venture 

The smiling valet lady and the sweet traffic controller at the hospital - these two virtual strangers told me every time they saw me that they were praying for me

The "raddest" Rad tech's around. Every day for 20 days 

Today I finished. A 290 day marathon that I absolutely did not sign up for. I thought I hadn't trained for this marathon - but I did. Training was trusting God. Even when I was raging at Him for this - for the cancer and the Covid and the unemployment and the busted water heater and the weariness and the betrayals and the disappointments and ALL of it - I trusted. 

He is ALWAYS faitheful and He brought me to today. 

My dance with cancer isn't over. Until He calls me home, cancer will be a part of my life. It's part of my history - and it's part of my future. There will never be a time when an ache or a pain or a blood draw or a mammogram or a MRI won't make me think "it might be back". There will never be a time when I will be able to say "it's never coming back" with confidence. Cancer will always lurk somewhere in the shadows, fading with time, but never completely gone. That's ok - it's part of who I am now. 

But it won't define my future - not today, not tomorrow and even if it comes back - not then. There is only ONE author of my future - and His name is Jesus.