Beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

It's that time of year! Last year, we did minimal decorations - no one could handle it. This year, everyone was in a much better frame of mind (including the chief decorator!) so we decked the halls! 

 We went to the tree farm - it was 80 degrees out & I made everyone wear their christmas garb anyway! 

 The decorators.....

 The first attempt at the card photo.....

 What finally made it onto the card! 

 We even got a night out to celebrate...sans kids! 

 Yes - it's beginning to look alot like Christmas....

Next up...it's beginning to sound a lot like Christmas! 

Awesomeness

This post took an interesting turn as I sat down to write it. I am in the catching up phase, and it was going to be a nice little narrative on a trip to the aquarium we took two weeks ago. But as I put the pictures up first, something struck me.

Profoundly.

I've had this nagging unsettled feeling in my soul for a few days now-and seeing these pictures crystalized the sorrow in my soul. These pictures helped me put into words the struggle I have been living with recently.I looked at these seemingly innocuous photos and realized that my kids are awesome. A truth and reality I allowed others to take away from me. 

I can get caught up in comparing my kids and my family to a "typical family." Especially at holiday times (which for some reason we believe will fix all that is wrong with our families instead of highlighting any underlying dysfunction!)  

I can let a glowing "how great this Thanksgiving break was" post on Facebook make me feel bad about how dysregulated my kids are during unstructured times.

I can allow how others see my family and my kids to make me feel bad.

OR

I can choose to see the awesomeness in my kids and my life. 

I can see them as warriors who have survived things no child should endure.

I can see them as growing in Jesus as they grow in the world.

I can see them as curious and smart and loving and simply awesome. Not perfect and still learning and making mistakes and struggling with stuff. But still awesome.

Sometimes it's hard to see their awesomeness when my view is colored by others view. Especially when those people are people I love and care about. Whom I invite into my home and my life and they fail to appreciate the awesomeness of these kids. Who see only the surface and not the soul.

But God.

When I use God's eyes to see my kids - I see how fearfully and wonderfully created they are. By the Father in Heaven who loves and cherishes them more than I ever could. That same Father who loves and cherishes me. I can chose to allow His love for me to flow through me to them, healing them but also filling my soul. 

I will chose to see the awesomeness in my children. I will not let others steal my joy about my kids or my life. I will be their biggest cheerleader, comforter, teacher, and defender. Because they deserve that because they are awesome. 

The people we have been hanging out with!

Our friends from Eastside in an impromptu play date. 

This started with one friend...added three more to avoid hurt feelings! It also earned me "the most fun mom" award that night (at least for that moment!) 

I have been hanging with my running buddies on Saturday morning - no better way to start the weekend then a few miles and some prayer! 

Katie started riding therapy - our new friend Miss Cindy and Maggie! 

Eastside is supporting Love Without Boundaries during the monthly chapel - and some moms have joined the marathon team! 

China Care Bruins started up again - and we are hanging with our buddies Eva & Fiona! 

I reconnected with one of my spiritual mentors - love my friend Holly! 

and one of Ashlee's bestie's! 

Cami's third grade teacher came our of retirement for an afternoon to help in their cooking academy - 

Becky's class doing chapel "Working for the Lord" - we love Mrs. Flye! 

Katie and Miss Fonseca - another favorite teacher (we have a lot of favorite teachers - so blessed!!) 

But by far our favorite hanging out this past month was with Baby Melidee who came for a visit (and brought her mom!) 

Besties and their babies! 

As I look and review these pictures, I can't help but feel incredibly blessed by the friends and professionals the Lord has brought into our lives. 

She Wonders

"Do you ever wonder?" I would ask her...

wonder where she is?

Wonder what she looks like?

Wonder how she is?

Wonder about her personality?

Do you ever miss her? 

Because she wonders about you. And she misses you. 

She wonders what life would be like with you. She wonders what you look like. She wonders what you are like and if she is like you.

It breaks my heart as she wonders about you and why you left her. As she wonders why she wasn't good enough for you. As she wonders about the forces that affected your decision. I hurt for her because I can't help her. 

You grew her, brought her into the world and left her, and she wonders why. She wonders if you know her Jesus - and if she will get to see you in Heaven. 

I hope so. I hope that you know her Jesus. I hope you somehow can know how amazing this child you grew is. I hope we do well by you in how we love her and grow her and cherish her. 

I wonder. I wonder what you wonder about her. 

The Grands!

We have a superb set of "grands" in our family. Each one brings to the table some amazingly unique gifts and together they are the absolute perfect combination of grandparents. 

My mom & step dad are the grands that cover the critical. The critical crisis of coverage when we need help or the critical school event where a grandparent's presence means everything to a child who is new to family relationships. 

Grandparents Day at Eastside Christian Schools was a HUGE success for Becky and Cami because Grandma and Granddad were there! 

My dad is the the "steady Eddie" of the group. Every five or six weeks, he arrives. The routine is the same. There are not great events (except that the girls insist that we celebrate his birthday!). He is woven into the fabric of the flow of their lives. So much so that their internal clocks signal every four weeks or so the question "when is Pop-pop coming home?". 

Doug's dad is the "spoiler". You know the type..drops in - scatters the infield of children with candy and toys and cash (for the older ones!), lets them break the rules, jumps on the bed..all that jazz! Something every grandchild needs! 

Our grandparents are troopers. I am sure that not all of them all the time understand how we parent or why we do it so differently than they did. They sometimes don't understand the depths of the trauma of our kids - or how our faith sustains us. They certainly don't always understand everything - but they hang in with us and more importantly - they are present for our kids. They are part of the foundation of our kids family - our kids who are learning really what family means. 

They are Grand grands!!!