The Mingle

Used to be, over here in China back a few years, every adoptive family stayed at the White Swan or the Victory Hotel on Shamain Island. You spent your days running into the same families over and over - at breakfast, at appointments, at the shops, in the elevators and at the pool.

Things changed in 2011. The White Swan closed for renovations. The medical exam and all the other appointments moved off the island. Many shops closed from a combination of a lack of adoptive family business and other economic pressures. 

So now, adoptive families are spread through out a half a dozen hotels - and we now mingle with a lot of other hotel people.

A few adoptive families.

Chinese on vacation.

European and American business folk. 

It makes for an interesting hotel experience - because now we stand out. 

Especially the lilly white momma with the three asian kids. Traveling by herself.

Even the other adoptive families are a bit unsure of what to make of this motley crew. 

It makes for some interesting encounters (and because I am fairly desperate at this point for adult conversation - I welcome the intrusion and the questions!!) 

There was Asha - an Africian woman whose family owns a factory here. She is a wealthy business woman who travels a lot tending to the family textile and tile business. She sought me out today at the pool while the girls swam. She's a Muslim - who wanted to talk about the kids - and why I did what I was doing. We talked about her God and my Jesus. It was a lovely encounter.

The server Lily - who kept coming back with a new question every time she served me, and stayed a few minutes longer each time. Curious - in a non offending way. She kept saying "lucky babies" - I kept correcting her "lucky momma". She walked away thinking. SHe might even wonder about this Jesus I mentioned more than once.  

There was also Ray - the business man from LA who spends a month here and a month there - with his Asian girlfriend of the moment - who spoke no English and had little idea what to make of the white momma who would willing adopt these unwanted children. Ray - who I am pretty confident has a lovely wife and lovely chidden and a lovely home in LA.  Pretty sure that he tuned me out the minute I credited Jesus for my blessings and our choices. 

It's the new China adoption mingle. 

Pretty sure God is using it. 

What was in Order

After yesterday - we definitely needed some fun! 

Cami love the Safari Park when she and I went on her adoption trip; she suggested it was what we should do - so we did. 

The cost of a car/van service was a bit pricey on top of the rather expensive tickets, so we downgraded and took the subway. (lousy picture - we were trying to get one before anyone got in the way - which is virtually impossible in the China metro!)

 It took Becky a while to get used to it - Cami and Julia A Bai were pros in a matter of minutes! 

 We managed to change lines twice and still get to the Safari Park unscathed and in a good mood! 

Our visit started with (quite by accident-the building was air conditioned - we had no idea what was in it!) making a new friend….

 I think A Bai liked the "concept" of the animals more than the actual animals themselves! She was generally shell shocked pretty much the whole time! 

 This park is free from a lot of the "safety" regulations - so the animals are fairly close to the humans. 

The super fun part came with the panda habitat. The safari park has a large family of pandas and a rather successful breeding program. Because it was over 100 today - the park was pretty empty (most people apparently opted for the water park next door!) and we had the [anda house to ourselves - 

  

About a month ago, one of the momma pandas gave birth to triplets - the first successful live birth of three baby pandas! They aren't on exhibit yet, bit we did get to watch the live cam for a file - it was pretty awesome. 

 We also got to eat lunch in the panda restaurant - and they gave use a table with a view of the panda (right over Cami's left shoulder) 

 And really now, what would a safari be without a ride on an elephant? 

 WE fed some giraffes - and the girls learned that the giraffes are stronger than they are - and will take everything you have in your hands in one pull! 

 We also did the safari on wheels tour through the back side of the park - where the animals are cage free. Very cook (in an experience way - it was SUPER hot by then)

We definitely needed to have some fun today. The girls needed to have some fun and not be constantly reminded about what has to happen for an orphan like them to have a forever family. 

I managed to navigate the subway system and not get us lost nor did I lose anyone. 

I also got my children fed in a place where no one spoke English.

There was the normal whining and complaining about the heat and the walking - but nothing outside of the ordinary. 

We had a normal and fun day with a nominal of meltdowns - just what I needed to resort my spirits and my sanity and carry me through the next few days. 

God is good - all the time. 

The Hard Day

By far, this morning's "to-do" is my very favorite least thing to do. And it generally always makes this the worst day of the trip. 

The medical exam.

Which is a ridiculous joke because other than TB, there is no reason that anything ever "discovered" in the medical exam would stop the adoption process. So it's a $250 "check the box and make the government feel good" nightmare experience. 

But it's not like I went into the morning with a bad attitude or anything.

It's just these medical exams have:

1) Sent me home with a "healthy" child who had a severe double ear infection in both ears after a clean bill of health from the "doctor" 

2) Had a doctor tell me (in front of the child) "she's stupid. You know she will never learn  anything"..then proceed to give the same child 7 vaccinations resulting in a 104 fever for two days

3) humiliated a child who already was self conscious about her appearance

I was came ready for the fight this morning. The girls - not so much. They were pretty relaxed….

 It's September. It's 100 here - gotta love the wall decor…..(and in my mind - just one more reason that this place is a joke in my mind - not that I needed any more ammunition!) 

 The fight - sort of happened when they kicked me out of the exam room to draw blood. I knew I would lose, but I put up a fight.

I fought because A Bai needs to know that she is worth fighting for - and that her mom will take on the ridiculous Chinese rules knowing I will lose but will let them know. I told them how I felt about my daughter having to go through a blood draw without me. 

They didn't care - but she was listening. 

We all escaped the place relatively unscathed, but I was on edge for the rest of the morning which didn't help the three girls who are also on edge and starting to feel the effects of the trip (see yesterday's post). 

So - in an effort to salvage the day, we went to the Chen Clan Ancestral Hall which houses the Guangdong Folk Arts Museum. 

This man does these amazing paintings with his hands - the palms and fingers and fingernails. Becky and Cami - my crafty girls - were absolutely fascinated. A Bai could have cared less. Personalities are emerging. She was much more interested in what she wanted to buy (which ultimately resulted in the first lesson about how having a mommy isn't all it's cracked up to be when she won't let you spend $50 on a fan) 

 We also had a look into the ancestral homes and what they were like - and the girls decided that while beautiful, they looked far too uncomfortable for their tastes (which was fascinating considering that earlier on this trip - we had the same discussion as Becky saw the straw mat on Cami's bed at her foster mom's house). 

 I wanted some photos of the place - whoever was not having a meltdown or upset with someone for something got to be in those photos. As you will see - pretty much two of the three were struggling at any given point this afternoon! 

 (I made them all stand together for this one - because all three were having a fit about one thing or another so I figured it was evenly disbursed torture on all!) 

We are done with appointments for the next few days - just picking up paperwork and getting ready for the consulate appointment on Monday. We can use the down time - and are going to have some fun. 

 Today was the hard day - the culmination of busy days with boring paperwork for the girls and reminders for all of them that their lives as Yingling's didn't start out with an incredible joyful birth story but instead was enveloped in the shuffling of papers and the loss of so much. 

There is some unintentional irony in the choice (my choice) of sightseeing activities today. I chose the destination because of the art connection. I didn't really think about the ancestral implications of the museum. That we spent the last three days severing A Bai's ties to her ancestral roots - just as we did for our other girls. 

Tomorrow - we start with the building and re-building of their story. With some fun. 

Yes - we need some fun!! 

After the Adrenalin

First off - before anything else - thanks to everyone who took a minute to comment on yesterday's blog post either via Facebook or on the blog. You have NO idea how sustaining those emails and texts and comments are for me. One of the hardest things about these adoption trips for me is to be so far away from Doug - my lifeline. The encouragement and connection from this back home makes it a little less isolating for me  and holds me up through the rough spots.

Last night - after dinner, we spent a few minutes in the pool. Julie ABai has limited swim knowledge, but a desire to keep up - so I was on high alert for potential issues, but all was well. 

They are good negotiators - they would only pose for this picture together…..

 If I promised to put this one on the blog as well! 

Because we are a full disclosure organization around here and because all you are so faithful, it's only fair to tell share with you that after 24 hours, the bloom is pretty much off the sisterly rose around here. This afternoon - after the paperwork appointment and lunch and the necessary trip to Carrefore (the Walmart equivalent) complete with the required meltdown - we holed up in the hotel room for the safety and sanity of all concerned.  Mandatory quiet time was instituted by the mother ship - and we ventured only as far as the executive lounge for dinner. There was apparently a lightening storm over the pool (that's my story and I am sticking with it) so after dinner it was back into the room - a Veggie Tales video, and then bed. 

It's not unexpected. The emotional let down after yesterday's massive adrenalin rush  has this effect. On everyone. We'll all be better after a good night's sleep! 

Providing that our friendly neighborhood engineering staff man doesn't have to make an encore presentation form last night's 11 pm visit….

Yep - last night at 11 pm - after two phone calls to housekeeping about the water dripping from the ceiling over our bathtub (which I was convinced was coming from the bathtub directly above us that I fully expected to land in our tub at any moment compete with it's occupants!) - this was the scene. 

I have no idea where the water came from. I have no idea if it's coming back. No one seemed 1) concerned, or 2) surprised. 

Welcome to China. 

Coming Together

Sometimes, it just all comes together…...

Sometimes, God's Holy presence fills a space…..

 a divine meeting predestined 

two worlds collide and merge into one 

 to form what no one can break apart. 

After all that - there was paperwork - of course.

No adoption is complete without it.

So while I took care of that business- 

the sisters got down to theirs! 

No meeting is complete without presents - and plastic necklaces picked out are the perfect ones! 

 Now we can all get down to the business of becoming a family

 And one Miss Joy Dexter is forever woven into that fabric of love - for without her obedience to the Lord's call on her life - none of this would have been possible! 

It's official - we have grown by one today! 

I will extol you, my God and King, and bless your name forever and ever. Every day I will bless you and praise your name forever and ever. Great is the Lord , and greatly to be praised, and his greatness is unsearchable.