The Legacy of Dad

I loved Father's Day and all the posts from all my friends about what a great dad their husbands are - and they are 100% right on! My husband is such an amazing dad that it caused me to want children after 40 years of declaring I never waned children (God may have had a bit to do with it as well!) 

And many of these friends will also acknowledge what a great dad they had - and I also share that sentiment! My dad was a good dad to me as a kid and as I have gotten older, he has become a great dad to me. I value his opinions (even though I don't always listen to them!) and I truly enjoy his company.

But on Father's Day this year, I got to thinking about grandfathers. A few months back, during a discussion my dad and I were having, he made the comment "your never had a grandfather around and you did ok"

My mom's dad passed away when I was 6. I have two distinct memories relating to him - one of being with him on his big concrete porch over the garage laughing and the other of my dad, brother and I sitting in our station wagon after dropping my mom at his house, and my dad telling me that mom was going to spend a few days with grandma because pop-pop had died. I never knew he was sick. I never got to tell him good bye. 

My dad's dad was a raging alcoholic - and we didn't spend much time with him. What I knew about him growing up was that he was never around, and my aunt who was a few years older than me would come spend summers with us to get away from his brutality towards her. I still remember at my high school graduation hoping he would be sober enough to come. He didn't. 

So yes, I did ok without a grandfather - but I wanted one. Desperately. 

I wanted what my girls have with my dad......

I want for my girls to feel the unconditional love that a grandfather has for his grandchildren. To experience having that presence around that gives them a feeling of security and legacy and of belonging to something that was, and is, and is to come. 

I want it for them more because I didn't have it. I have a choice. I can either look back and miss and resent what I did not have, or I can look forward and help our family break that chain and begin building a legacy for their children and the their children's children.

I choose to look forward!