A not so simple Walk in the Park

Saturday morning, after a lovely hotel breakfast (which isn't like the hotel breakfasts in Guangzhou - it was all Chinese!), the girls and I decided to check out the park next door. It was a very pretty park - and barely crowded for a Saturday morning.

 There were so many photo opportunities - and it was nice to just stroll and not be in a moving vehicle! 

 But after a while - I noticed something about myself as Cami posed for her photo shoots and explored...

 Instead of really stopping and admiring the beauty that is God's creation (and the foliage and scenery wasn't shabby either!)…..

 I found myself staring at all the people - and anticipating perhaps a reaction that they recognized Cami. A spark they remembered about a little girl in their neighborhood that was was burned - and then not there anymore. 

 A memory of a relative who had a tragedy and the choice they made.

Something - anything - that might connect a child with a missing three years to her beginning. For this mom - a walk in the park suddenly turned into something much bigger - a hope for answers. 

It was all rather ridiculous - Maoming is a city of millions and the chances that Cami's people would be in this park in this affluent neighborhood was almost non-existent. But it is where my brain went - and stayed - until we left the city a few hours later. It's a glimpse into the mind of a mom who is the third mom - and perhaps especially after having spent such a sweet time with the second mom the day before. 

The loss that Cami (and all my children have) is never far from the front of my mind - because I suspect it is never really far from the front of theirs either. 

After our lovely and not so simple walk in the park - it was back into the car, for yet another 5 hour drive to fill in a piece of the puzzle that is Cami's beginnings. We headed to just south of Guangzhou to have dinner with the woman who was the director of her SWI when she was found and when she went to Hong Kong in 2008. 

We arrived a few minutes early - and took the opportunity to get a photo with our amazing and wonderful guide Elvin. Elvin was our guide in Guangzhou for Katie's adoption trip and for the beginning of Cami's trip. He works for a different agency than the one we are using now - and we feel so blessed that we were able to secure him for this part of our trip. God is good - and certainly has built our family in a unique way; Elvin has been part of that building and is certainly an integral part of ours story.

 Madame Zhong had not seen Cami since she retired in 2009. What a sweet reunion this was for her. 

 She was so filled with emotion for Cami - several times she started to cry. For those who are familiar with China - that is unusual. For those who are familiar with China adoption - you really know how special this is. 

Cami was deeply cared for in the orphanage. Some adoptive parents say this about their children because that is what we are all told. Many believe this because it is easier. I have been told that about all three of my children. 

For one, I believe they did the best they could with them knowledge they have with no ill intent. 

For another, I know they she was physically and emotionally abused. They lied outright. 

For the third, for Cami, I saw the truth. At the SWI Friday and with Mde Zhong last night. The emotion that these women had for this child was evident and palpable. There was no mistaking that they cared about her. 

We learned that when she came to the orphanage, her facial burns were so severe that she has only a small opening - and that she was literally hand fed every meal with a straw to keep her alive. For a long time.

We learned that they were committed to making her feel good about herself - to encourage her to "be strong". 

We learned that they loved her. 

No greater gift can an adoptive parent have than that. We believe it is why Cami has the capability of overcoming so much - a foundation of love. 

The other side of this coin is a child who doesn't have that - a deeply sensitive little girl who has a missing history as well, but who has the more traditional institutional beginnings.

This journey is healing for her as well. She will have the ability to re-frame her personal experience that "moms leave their kids at the orphanages"

Apparently, it is all a particularly exhausting experience for her! 

Sunday will bring settling in at the hotel and resting. Monday at 2:30 pm (China time), our family will grow by one. 

We need to get ready!