The Grands!

We have a superb set of "grands" in our family. Each one brings to the table some amazingly unique gifts and together they are the absolute perfect combination of grandparents. 

My mom & step dad are the grands that cover the critical. The critical crisis of coverage when we need help or the critical school event where a grandparent's presence means everything to a child who is new to family relationships. 

Grandparents Day at Eastside Christian Schools was a HUGE success for Becky and Cami because Grandma and Granddad were there! 

My dad is the the "steady Eddie" of the group. Every five or six weeks, he arrives. The routine is the same. There are not great events (except that the girls insist that we celebrate his birthday!). He is woven into the fabric of the flow of their lives. So much so that their internal clocks signal every four weeks or so the question "when is Pop-pop coming home?". 

Doug's dad is the "spoiler". You know the type..drops in - scatters the infield of children with candy and toys and cash (for the older ones!), lets them break the rules, jumps on the bed..all that jazz! Something every grandchild needs! 

Our grandparents are troopers. I am sure that not all of them all the time understand how we parent or why we do it so differently than they did. They sometimes don't understand the depths of the trauma of our kids - or how our faith sustains us. They certainly don't always understand everything - but they hang in with us and more importantly - they are present for our kids. They are part of the foundation of our kids family - our kids who are learning really what family means. 

They are Grand grands!!! 

Who are those masked women!

It's been a while. 

A loooong time.

For a lot of reasons - none of which are earth shattering or over whelming. 

It's just the way it is.

So I have some catching up to do. Rather than do it in chronological order, I am going to shift it up here and do some theme posts.

So we have the first one - costumes! 

Becky LOVES science - and got to be the junior scientist a few weeks back. She was in her element (pun intended!) 

 There was a birthday party - featuring Rapunzel...Katie's favorite princess. 

 Then we rolled into Halloween! 

My three little kittens! 

 The Scarecrow & Farmer festival in 1st grade....

 And of course, Crazy Red Hair Day! 

And of course...we can't leave out....Squid Head! 

Standing on Holy Ground

I walked on Holy Ground this weekend. I went to a place where the presence of the Holy Spirit was unmistakable and palpable. Where the air was thick with the presence of God. Where Jesus reached out and held His children in His Hands. 

It wasn't a grand cathedral.

It wasn't an alter with a cross.

It wasn't a quiet prayer corner, a church fellowship room, the banks of the Jordan river or a garden in Jerusalem. 

It was in a hallway in a arena in Charlotte. With a rowdy bunch of groupies standing by waiting for the band to appear. 

And it was a Holy Ground.

It was also the back room of a mediocre hotel steak house.

And it was a Holy Ground. 

Holy space. Invaded by the Spirit. 

Meeting women exactly where they needed to be met. 

Speaking life and truth and love into the deepest recesses of their inner beings. 

Not based upon rules of performance, placement of icons, consistency in theological applications. 

Based solely upon the love of the Son of Man. The commitment to follow the Savior. The acknowledgment of the One Sovereign God. 

Holy Ground. 

Oh How He Loves Us. 

The story within the story

We spent some time at the end of the summer doing some very fun things and making some memories. I have been more than a bit remiss about updating our on line scrapbook, so this is a bit of a catch up post! It is also a story within the story....

Cami went to art camp for two weeks. At the end of each week, they had to present their work to their classmates and their parents. She did an excellent job on the artwork, but more impressive than that was that she was able to get up in front of people she didn't know and talk about her art work. So incredibly proud of her1 

 Becky and Katie attended "Rainbow Express" - which is our church VBS for kids with special needs and their siblings. It is an absolutely amazing ministry that allows Katie and her peer group to be "typical" kids doing typical "kid" type things! 

 There was the first day of 2nd grade for Katie - who's favorite part of the day was riding the bus to school. 

 And the first day of 1st and 4th grade for Becky and Cami! 

The all important 1st day of school after school treat with our good friend Leyna! 

We also took our some of our besties to Chinatown for dim sum and shopping (sorry for this horrible picture.....)

 And the bestest baby in the world came to visit (she brought her pretty awesome mom too!) 

 We had a beach day with Tia Annie.....at the end of September!!

 Saw Ariel on the big screen in 3D! 

And Doug & I even had a night away together...alone...no children....(please don't mention it to them if you see them - we might not have actually told them that we would be away together!) 

Lots of fun things in the last two months - and feeling so blessed when I look at these pictures for the family and friends we have to share life with! 

But. 

There is more to the story than these pictures show. You see, these photos could be of almost any family, almost anywhere. Your typical family, doing "normal" family things. 

And that is what makes them so amazing - because for many, many months (ok - for a few years but whose counting) - we were anything but "normal". "Typical" simply was not a word in our vocabulary. 

God has brought us through so much since last fall - when simple, seemingly fun and innocent events rocked our word into chaos.

Our crazy trauma train hasn't fully arrived into the train station of "can handle anything" . BUT -  we are making some stations stops at places like "can go a week without a rage" and "can have a change in plans without a collapse" and "almost normal". 

God has richly blessed us - and to Him goes 100% of the credit for the track this train is on and it's final destination! 

Doing What I Need To

When you hear the same thing more than once from a different person, I believe it is cause to take a step back and consider the validity of the observation, no matter how absurd it may initially seem. 

Recently, two separate, unrelated people (to one another) have accused us if having "spoiled" children. I have chewed on these words for several weeks - and have thought abut it a lot.

I don't see my kids as spoiled. They aren't walking through stores asking for "this or that. 

They don't have room full of toys. 

They do one activity each - we aren't running from here to there to everywhere for them.

They have chores they do. 

They know how to accept "no" when they ask for something. 

Didn't immediately see the "spoiled" thing - so I looked up the definition - 

to harm the character of (a child) by being too lenient or indulgent.

Nope - that's not them either. We aren't lenient & we aren't indulgent and the nature of my children's character is awesome. We lavish love on our kids and try to respect them, their feelings and their histories - but we don't indulge them...and they would be the first to agree we aren't too lenient! 

I have come to two conclusions. First and foremost -  my kids aren't spoiled. they are brave and compassionate and funny and talented and beautiful and  smart and hard working and in general - pretty awesome! 

They aren't perfect - they whine, they moan about chores and they stall when going to bed. They are kids struggling with some BIG things, but they are pretty awesome!

The second conclusion I came to was this: 

I am not defined by what others think of me as a parent, by what they think about my children, or even by how my children behave and are perceived by others. What those folks say about my kids and my parenting is more a reflection on where they are and how they perceive themselves and their kids/parents. It is not truth about us - it is a truth about them.

I am not sporting a "World's Greatest Mom" mug and tee shirt. I flip out on my child who struggles the most pretty much daily, and have been known to blow it so bad my kids tattle to our therapist on me. I make mistakes with my kids daily - and I apologize far more often to them than I am sure is healthy. 

But.

But I do what I need to for my kids. I am responsible for raising them and caring for them and nurturing them. I will do what I need to - always. At the end of the day - my children will know above all else and in spite of the mistakes that were made - they are loved. Deeply. Forever. They will not ever question whether we love them. They will know that God loves them and He is faithful and can be trusted. 

I don't know if that's enough to overcome all they have been through in their little lives - but I do know that it is the very greatest gift we can give them. 

Along with remembering to say "please" and thank you".

Many thanks to "Scooping It Up" for her awesome post on this very subject! I have been wrestling with these comments since the middle of August - and her excellent post here really helped me work through all the feelings bubbling around my already full brain!)