It's a New Year

It's a bit of a challenge sometimes - raising kids who are a different race and from a different culture. It's not as much finding a balance between their birth culture and their American culture as I think it's an integration of the two - which is hard when your parents aren't Chinese. 

To help, we fully take advantage of the opportunity to celebrate things that are important in the Chinese culture - and Chinese New Year is certainly the their most important holiday. 

So we celebrated big here! 

First, Becky really wanted to celebrate with her class, so we hosted a Chinese New Year party at school for them - with stories and games and a CHinese lunch. Becky used a free dress pass to wear her Chinese dress - and I even got creative with her hair (or as creative as I get!) 

We also took a morning and attended the lunar New Year celebration at Disneyland - which I consider to be a true integration of two cultures! 

I am relatively sure that face painting is not authentic Chinese New Year activity - but it was fun! (and free - might be the only free thing ever at Disneyland!) 

The calligraphy was very authentic - and this gentleman was so kind to the girls. He did a "Happy New Year" for Cami and an "I love penguins" for Becky.

The new years festivities finally culminated with the FCC (Families with Children from China) celebration at the end of the two week observance. We are blessed that we live close to Chinatown - so the girls get a taste of China more frequently than most adoptees. They also have some excellent Chinese-American role models in the Miss Chinatown & her court  - all these girls are either UCLA or USC students or graduates majoring in very "smart" subjects like biomedical engineering or the like! 

We were also SO blessed to spend the night with our bestie's Sophie and her mom!  

Cami got to be hte guest DJ again like last year - she loved it (even though Becky tried to move in on her job!) 

Our FCC group is so huge that there is no way to really get a good group shot - but this angle at least has our girls in it! 

These celebrations in no way make up for the loss my girls experience of their birth culture. And short of moving to China, there is no way to replace that loss. The best we can do - for right now - is to encourage them to integrate where they are now with where they came from. 

Reflect Love

It's a "love" holiday today. What's not to love about a "love" holiday?

You would have to live in a cave to not know that today is Valentine's Day. For weeks, every commerical, every store, every tv program has been promoting the "love" holiday. 

How can someone not like the "love" holiday? 

I don't. 

I don't like the message it sends to my girls. 

That love comes in the form of flowers and candy and cards.

That I need something extra to show I am "special" to my valentine.

That love needs a special day with money spent and that things show love. 

Because they doesn't.

Ever. 

This is not love.

neither is this

Too many girls today look to the world to fill their need for love - in the form of gifts and candy and flowers. I want better than that for my girls. 

I want them to know that love is a man who works hard every single day to provide for his family.

I want them to know that love is a man whose hobbies are his children.

I want them to know that real love shows up when things are hard and not fun and it would be easier to walk away.

I want them to know that real love is a man who allows the love of God to flow through him to those around him.

I want them to know that real love looks like their dad - not a Hallmark commercial. Or what their girlfriends or the tv tells them love is. 

There are no big flowers in our house from dad. There are no cards or special romantic dinners. I won't set that as their expectation of what a man needs to do to show his wife that he loves her. Because there's a good - even great - chance that they might overlook a great & Godly man because he forgets to buy them the "right" Valentine. 

They will know that real love of a man for His wife is a reflection of the love God has for us. They know what because their dad teaches them that every single day. 

So they can enjoy the parties at school today. They will each get a little valentine from mom and dad....and grandma might have sent something too! They can have a little fun with the holiday. 

But they will always know what real love looks like 

Real love is a reflection of the Love God has for us. Always. 

"We love because He first loved us"

1 john 4:19

The "Day"

I am not a huge fan of the term "gotcha day". There is a sense that I "got" something - that I snatched something. I hate what that implies. 

It is also a day of trauma for our kids; its the day they were taken from everything they knew (no matter what that was) and thrust into a totally foreign - literally- situation. So it goes largely unnoticed in our house. 

That being said, the day each of my children came into my life was special and memorable for me; I am just not sure what to call it. 

This girl....turned our world upside down - in the very best way! 

It has not been anything like what we had expected, but through Katie, our family has learned more about who we really are, and what really matters.

We have learned that forgiveness is always possible no matter what has happened to you.

We have learned that a hug is pretty much always the answer to any problem.

We have learned how to love when it's hard to love.

We have learned how to live large and in the moment.

So happy day to my Katie - you are the one in our family that reminds us the treasures of this world will rust away, but love it eternal. 

An old familiar feeling

A guest post from Doug today - testimony to the truth that God speaks to his people

The first time I knew God wanted us to adopt, I was sipping my coffee at a Good Friday Breakfast at the Bonaventure Hotel in downtown Los Angeles. I was a seat filler at a high end charity event - one I had attended many times over the past 20 years. No big deal - a free breakfast.

Or so I thought. 

The key-note speaker at this event was Senator John Kyle from Arizona who spoke on the sacrifice that Christ had made for us on Good Friday, and if you called yourself a Christian, how were you living up to that sacrifice. Up to that point I had been adamantly opposed to my wife’s suggestion that we look into adoption. 

God spoke through Senator Kyle that day and put a peace that surpassed all understanding in my heart about adoption. Imagine her surprise when I called to tell her we were going to adopt from China

The second time I knew, I was sitting in my office when a feeling of calm overtook me; It was a typical warm and sunny Southern California day and I had just turned from my computer screen to gaze out my window and admire the scene.  

An overwhelming and completely unexpected feeling overtook me at that moment; I could easily see us adopting another child from China. I wondered why that thought had crossed my mind at that time, but I knew it was coming from the Lord because the feelings of peace, calm and joy were clearly present in the thought. 

It was right then that my computer notified me that I had a new email. Imagine my surprise when I saw that it was a note Karen had forwarded asking us to consider adopting again. 

The third time I knew was when China denied our request to foster a burn survivor from China. When Karen informed me of the denial, God put determination in my heart as the words “well, we will just adopt her" came out of my mouth.  

Normally when I react emotionally toward a subject; regret and the words ‘let me re-think that” are not far behind.  

Not this time. 

That peace that surpasses all understanding was clearly present, and the emotions I felt when she was being wheeled into the operating room for her first surgery (less than 1 year later) were confirmation that God was at the helm.

This time God is again putting adoption on my heart. There is  a little girl in China that has had to endure more than anyone should endure in a lifetime.  She has been through hell on earth and has the love of Jesus stamped on her heart that would make Billy Graham wonder if he had done enough during his life to spread the Gospel.  

So here we go again! But, we know the fears and doubts we have about this are wasted emotions.  When God is instructing you to do His will, and you follow;  you will eventually see the blessings he had intended for you, your family and your new child. 

Pray for us. Pray that God will give us the strength, the patience, the means and the wisdom to remember that “His Will Be Done On Earth As It Is In Heaven”!

Because we have the peace - the peace that surpasses all understanding. 

(for those detail oriented people in the audience, she is 10 years old, in Guangdong provence and we have Pre-approval for her. We expect to travel in 9-12 months to bring her home forever) 

To Grandmother's House We Went!

To grandmother's house we went last week for our now annual New Year's trip with my sister and her kids. Grandma & Granddad live in the mountains - with nature - which is a lovely change for my "suburbia" children! 

Katie's job every morning is to feed the birds; they have a love/hate relationship with her..the love how much she gives them, and are scared to death of her enthusiasm as she heads towards the feeders! 

 There is a great trail behind the house with lovely views  

 4 of the 6 cousins - the other two include one who won't stand still...and the boy cousin who you will find is conspicuously absent from all the girl fun! 

 These two are thick as thieves - and have been out of their skin excited for this vacation! 

We also use this time together to celebrate Christmas - and it works out really well to extend the celebrations and gift giving a week or two longer. As the littlest cousin - she gets to go first (but notice the big cousins are standing close by to "help"!) 

 My sister is a "stitcher" too like my mom & Cami - so Cami always really appreciates the gift from her! 

I got really brave Saturday morning and took all 5 girls to Heritage Park Zoo - by myself. With all the animals and other activities - the spiderweb is their favorite part! 

 The pretty girls.....

 SHortly after I took this - I had to explain to her that the railing was to keep her away from the tiger..because as the tiger came over to see her, she was heading over the rail to see him! 

 We also took our cousins to see "Frozen"...for Cami's 4th time! I have to say, I Was reluctant to let my girls see this because the parents die (I really wish Disney would figure another way to have kids be on an adventure without either dead parents or being disobedient to their parents - but that's a post for another time!). 

Dying parents can be a trigger for kids from trauma and things have been good - no need to rock the boat! BUT - Cami really wanted to see it, so Doug took her - and it was fine. The others then went - and they were ok..so we went again, and then again, and then once more! 

A little more outdoor time - we were fortunate that while it can get cold there, it wasn't so the kids were able to be outside and enjoy all the nature comfortably (my little southern China & southern California delicate flowers!) 

To grandmother's house we went...and had a wonderful time!