Bust our Buttons......

This is the week of the 8th anniversary of when I met Katie for the first time. In a hotel room in China, a little fireball came barrelling in and changed our lives. 

We had no idea the depth of the struggles she would face. No idea that the first 4 years of her life and the circumstances she endured (of which we aren't certain of the details, but imagine the worst - then more) would forever present challenges to her that she would battle daily.

We were told when she was 4 by her teacher "she will never learn to read; it's an unrealistic goal - that's why we are proposing all goals that will be life skills oriented." That day an uphill battle began, but God led the charge, for he placed some amazing teachers in her life that got her to where she is today. 

Today, she received a district award for students that have perservered and overcome great obstacles. 

Katie's teacher, Mrs. Villa,  said in the award ceremony "No matter what challenges life has thrown her way, she has found a way to overcome. I couldn't be more proud!"
(us too - I have needed more than a few tissues since I found out she was receiving this award) 

Every parent has moments when they are "bust their buttons" proud of their child. This was that and all some - because 8 years ago, no one thought this was possible. 

Lots of the people who have been instrumental in Katie's progress came to celebrate her today - which was beyond amazing. Katie is so loved by so many, and we are so blessed to have education professionals for whom this is a calling and they pour themselves into our girl. 

Miss Karen who was her first one-one aid (uofficially, officially!) - who loved Katie and our family so much she helped with horse camp one year, and I"m not sure she even likes horses! But she loves Katie - and Katie likes horses, so that was good enough for her! 

Her first teacher after our lawsuit when she got her new placement; she helped Katie to see that she could be successful and learn which was a gift beyond measure. 

Miss Jamie, who has helped develop Katie's althletic abilities...and her love of Ariel! 

Her current teacher and school team - who nominated her for this award. There simply aren't words to describe how their confidence in Katie's ability has changed her life. The believe in her, and go far above and beyond the call every moment of every day to help her be the very best she can be. 

Katie's life verse - we see it every moment of every day. 

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and couragious. Do not be frightened and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your GOD, is with you wherever you go."

joshua 1:9

Happy New Year

Those words bring with them a lot of hope - that might be why people make such a big deal about New Year's Eve. Not us necessarily - other people - we generally let the evening pass without any fanfare! 

It's not that we don't like hope here - hope is a place we live in daily; it's just we can't stay awake until midnight. Plus, our people stress about "big deals' so we try to limit them as much as possible to necessary ones and NYE just isn't. 

However. we did take a little trip to Arizona to hang out with family - I didn't do a great job at getting any family pictures this time, so the candids are it...

Car #1 - because its good to have a back up, and quite frankly, sitting 5 people in 6 seats in the mini-van for an 8 hour ride is plain stupid! 

A random rest area - Arizona has much nice rest areas than California, so we stop just because! 

Reid Zoo in Tuscon - I braved it by myself with a toddler, two kids and Katie - and didn't lose anyone or my mind! 

Katie got a new bathing suit for Christmas - who cares that its 65 out and the water is freezing if you are a real mermaid! 

Christmas toys......

We brought an extra child home with us. She is going on the American Heritage Tour with Cami's school in March, and there are a couple of "pre-trip" details we needed to take care of - like dress fittings! 

Lunching at the Bowers Museum - I love these girls and I love that they love museums! 

Our break was not all fun. Right before we left, we lost one of our dear friends Jeff. I worked for and alongside Jeff for almost 10 years when I was in the sailing business. His wife Tracy hosted my baby shower before we brought Becky home. We did sailing and Porsche's and Jesus together with them. They are the friends you don't see for several months because life gets in the way - then you see them and all is right in your world again. 

Our lives are so much richer for having Jeff as a friend and we will miss him terribly. He is in glory right now with Jesus - and those of us who are left behind have a void and just a little less laughter in our lives. 

But hope - I started this entry talking about hope. There is no better hope than that found in the resurrected life of Jesus and because of that, this goodbye is a just a temporary one. 

Our One Christmas Tradition

Through the years, traditions have come and gone in our ever growing family. As the number of children grew, the number of traditions fell!! One that has sustained though is the annual "matching Christmas pj's" - the day of the year my husband (and now teen daughter) humor me and wear what I want them to wear....

2008

2009

2010

2011

2012

2013

2104

2015

2016

2017

This year, our big kids joined into the pj tradition fun - we did not even attempt to get a full family photo on christmas day with 7 kids under age 7 (we are smarter than that!) , so the candids of the day will have to serve as evidence! 

We may only have one real sustainable Christmas tradition - but it's a fun one! 

All I want for Christmas

Dear honey, 

Because I am the best wife ever, I have solved the dilemma of what you are getting me for Christmas. 

Take out lunches and dinners from now through Christmas Eve. 

Last night, you bought me (and our people) pizza.

Tonight, we are having soup from Ralph's for dinner and Hawaiian Ono BBQ for dinner. 

Tomorrow for lunch, it sounds like an El Pollo day. 

Tomorrow night, you have a pass because the neighbors have invited us for dinner. 

I will cook breakfast for our people - out of self preservation to make sure that some part of their routine stays intact so they don't totally and completely lose their minds. 

Christmas Eve it's lunch out after church.

I will make our spaghetti dinner Christmas Eve - a tradition started the year Cami came home from China and it was all we could do. 

What a gift it will be to me to not have to plan, cook, serve and clean up after people while trying to keep us all sane in the "anticipation of Christmas" craze. 

I love you and you are welcome. 

Your loving wife. 

This is us (or welcome back!)

Life moves by us in the blink of an eye - but yet some days feel like they are never ending. Such is the story for our family, and so many others in the same season. Although sometimes I'm not exactly sure which season we are in.....we are raising children and watching grandchildren grow up (all together too fast, I might add). We are celebrating milestone birthdays and anniversaries. Our closest friends range from retired to new moms and dads. 

As we have entered into this season of Christmas, more than one Christmas greeting to us has included "we miss your blog". These aren't people who loved the reflective posts I wrote on adoption or the "fired up" ones I wrote when feeling self righteous, but from our family. The people who love us through those events. 

So while it's not new year's yet, as a small gift to them and to ourselves, I am going to blow the dust off and begin again. 

Welcome (or welcome back) to our family... 

Becky, Katie, Cami, Julie and Zachariah

Ashlee, Megan, Melidee and Emilee - and thank you to our precious son-in-law Jon who is overseas serving his country. 

Matt, Laurel, Amelia, Aleina and Averee

This is us, minus the one who bravely serves his country and is far away this season. We range from 6 months to 60 (this coming February). We are loud and messy when together, and incomplete when we are apart. We are honest about our struggles, loyal to a fault and more than a little frazzled sometime. We love Jesus and each other

That Day Again

It's that day again. 

The one filled with the most confusing and contradicting of emotions.

It's her birthday. 

For three of my four kids, we don't actually know the day they were born - we celebrate their birthdays as "celebrating the day you were born" knowing it's most likely not the actual anniversary of that date.

For this one - we have a high degree of certainity about her actual birth date. 

There is confort in knowing the day.

There is joy that she was born.

There is excitement about celebration. 

There is also sorrow for the loss. 

There is wonder about the mom who birthed her. 

There is sadness for her - that she will never know how amazing this girl is. 

There is a woman on the other side of the world who brithed the most amazing kid. Her reasons for not parenting her run a range of possible options - some sad, some criminal, some hard hearted, some political. I will never know - and most days I don't give it much space in my brain. 

But once a year, this day comes. The day I am powerfully remindered that while we paint adoption as the beautiful picture of redemption and love and redemption that it is, we can never, ever forget that it is born of the greatest tradgey a child can ever, ever experience - the loss of their mom. The best I can hope for is that my girls can create enough emotional space in their heart to carry both of the conflicting emotions within their hearts at the same time. 

But we can celebrate the girl today - and all the wonderfully things go into her - her nature and her nurture! 

The Gift of Being Seen (or..saying Goodbye to Heather)

There is beauty in sight - the colors of creation, the splendor of the majesty, the twinkle in our child's eye, the bride as she approached the bridegroom. 

There is beauty in feeling seen by someone - that they see not only the "me" that I carefully project to the world, but the me that is underneath all that. Only those that can be trusted with the mess underneath the exterior can see. 

There is beauty in a relationship where we are seen. It's not the relationship of "in each other's business every day" but the relationship of "you are a safe place for the real me". 

This was driven home to me recently.  My friend Heather is moving today. To Brazil first, than to the Isle of Mozambique to tell people about Jesus. She is moving her family. She sold her possessions. She is leaving - probably for good. I am profoundly sad for myself. 

I have know Heather for a long time, but we don't see each other too often even though (until today) she lived 2 miles away. I love her and her family and we love their hearts for their mission. I knew I would miss her, but was caught totally unprepared for the depth which my heart hurts. 

It's because she sees me.

She sees past my projected image into the my heart. And she loves me anyway. 

Heather knows how horribly hard it is for me to ask for help. Looking back, she never said "no" when I asked - I am now pretty sure it wasn't because she was sitting around available, but because she knew how hard it was for me to ask and met me there. She saw the risk I take in asking - and she moved mountains to meet my need. 

She was one of a small handful of people who would take my hardest kid. I didn't ask often, but she always would. She saw my need and met it. 

She showed up when our baby left unexpectedly. Just walked in and hugged me - because she saw past the Christian rhetoric of "God's in control" and into my broken and shattered heart. She saw my heart. 

The gift of being seen - there is no better way to reflect the love of Jesus than this gift. And there is no one that does is better than Heather. 

I suspect that the Isle of Mozambique shall be forever changed for the kingdom because of Heather's gift for seeing people. I am blessed that she chose to see me -