Warning - Construction Zone

I have very little tolerance for construction in my house - the mess and the noise and the chaos really messes with my sense of order - and really, really dysregulates my kids. However, sometimes  - a mom's gotta do what a mom's gotta do. 

In this case - laundry. 

My awesome brother is gifted in the area of home "stuff" so he came and braved the chaos of his nieces to re-order my laundry room last week. 

As our construction began, progressed and finished, I couldn't help but think how a construction process is what we are involved in with healing our children from trauma. 

You start out with something that is functional - it works and meets the needs. Our laundry room was like this - we got lots of laundry done in it every weeks (we are talking 15-18 loads a week). Not pretty or fancy, but functional.

Our kids develop survival skills from their trauma - even the brains of babies as little as a few days or weeks old start to learn the rules of their world and how to adapt and cope. Not healthy or age appropriate but those skills serve them well in their trauma. 

After the process begins, you have to rip out the old - it's dusty and messy and actually non functional for a while. 

When our kids come into loving homes and healthy environments, it rips the foundation of what they know and can trust away - and for a while (sometimes a long while) they are non functional in the family. 

Pipes and inner workings are exposed - and sometimes (most times) you get a lot more "gunk" than you expected behind those walls 

Old hurts and wounds are revealed - we aoften have little idea of the depths of the horrors our children experienced. 

Pieces are out of place and unplugged. Its hard to walk and work in this environment

Our kids feel out of place and their brains don't function right - it's hard for them to work in their environment (can I get an AMEN to how homework might be the very best example of this!!) 

Then the pieces slide into place in the renovated space. They become more functional and more efficient  and better designed to meet the needs. The dust is vacuumed up and the old pieces are tossed away while the functional and critical components are put back to work more effectively. 

Slowly, our kids start to heal. Their brains learn to trust. The hurts are swept away and the tools are put back in their boxes. They can begin to really learn and grow in healthy ways.

What you don't see in this picture is the things that I wanted done but that time didn't allow - not critical things so they can wait. Or maybe not happen at all - we'll see how it goes. 

Our kids will never not carry the scars from their trauma - they may be able to function ok with them, or more work later might be needed. We'll see how it goes. 

Isn't this just like God working in our transformed lives? A life lived for Jesus and following Christ is a process of tearing out and rebuilding 

Warning - construction zone ahead.