Proof of Motherhood Required?

After 8 surgeries in 5 months and an untold number of doctor appointment,  pre-op interviews, insurance negotiations and hospital stays, I consider myself somewhat well seasoned at navigating hospitals and procedures with my my children. With that in mind, I walked into children's hospital LA today feeling somewhat confident and relaxed about Katie's MRI. She needed to be anesthetized but even that is a well traveled path for now. No issues, nothing to ruffle my feathers or make me anxious. 

" Mrs Yingling, do you have your adoption proof with you?"

"excuse me - my what?" 

"your adoption paperwork so we can verify you are her mother"

What?????

Thus began the most ridiculous and insane hour I have ever spent. 

It wasn't an insurance issue-they had in their hands the pre-authorization from Blue Cross, her insurance card and her medi-cal card and that verification.

It wasn't an id issue -they had my drivers license.

She had seen the referring doctor several times before.

No one seemed to care that if she has our last name and is on our insurance, the only way that can happen is if she is our legal child.

Even the woman sitting next to me asked them why they didn't ask all parents for proof  if they were going to ask adoptive parents for it. 

I finally had our agency fax the needed documentation. Off we go to pre-op, where the nurse practitioner's first question to me is " are you the adoptive mom?"

"no - I am the mom"

So what does "proof of mom" look like? 

My sister summed it up great today - 

"A mom is someone that loves unconditionally and wakes in the middle of the night to comfort their child from a nightmare and kisses their boo-boos."

How do you provide proof of that? 

For the birds

The other cool thing about visiting my dad is the little zoo at Mickey Grove park - and the Lorikeets!

Becky the brave one - right in and started feeding them (she actually sent Pop-pop out 3 more times for more food!) 

The other two needed some convincing to even go into the bird house

Katie didn't make it more than a minute - and Cami wanted to join her! 

But the security of dad and the power of these cute little (but mean!) guys won her over! 

Visiting Friend's House Today

I have said it before, but it bears repeating..one of the greatest gifts God has given our family through adoption is an amazing community of friends. Some of them we have even had the privilege of meeting (!) while others simply support and love us and encourage us across the miles. 

One of those friends - Dana - adopted a 7 year old boy from Katie's orphanage and we have become friends. God has gifted her with the talent of writing and the passion for older child adoption - 

She asked me to share on her blog today...so stop by Dana's "house" and see what I had to say:

Exhaustion - A Guest Post

Take a look around when you get there; Dana has an amazing perspective and gentle and kind heart....and a neat idea on how to cultivate kindness in your children! 

Take Me Out to the Ballgame

It wouldn't be a visit to Pop-pop's without a trip to the ballpark! It was Cami's first ballgame and she was immediately introduced to the blue slushy...which was far too sweet for her! 

They still have the giant slide....

Becky was more than a little apprehensive at first, but quickly adjusted and spent a lot of time on it! Cami...on the other had....wanted nothing to do with it! 

The Stockton Ports mascot - and Katie's new best friend.....

As all american as apple pie.....

Wordless Wednesday

God's Design

There are few things sweeter than a dad with his daughters. It's a precious relationship that is not replicated nor replaced no matter how old they both become. 

My husband was purposed in life by the Creator to be a dad; these three little ones are the reason he was born - to be their dad. He fills that place in them left void. He makes them feel worthy and loved and cherished - there truly is no greater gift on earth that a person can give a child who was left than that. 

 My dad is a great dad, but I am surely convinced that if my husband was designed by God to be a dad, then my dad's design was to be a grandpa. My girls simply adore their Pop-pop. Becky is convinced he can fix anything, Katie thinks he is the funniest person around and Cami is comforted by his consistency in her life and his immediate acceptance of her into our family. 

Happy Father's Day 

THESE and THOSE Moms

It is always interesting to read the Facebook status' of fellow mom's at this time of year. 

There are THOSE moms (these are actually status' from friends) :

"Day 2 of summer vacation and if I had a dollar for everytime I have heard 'I'm bored' we could actually afford to go somewhere...moan..."

to

"Summer vacation was designed by teachers...not moms..."

to

"we have VBS this week and karate camp next week and ballet camp the week after and swimming lessons after ever day and art lessons after that - I think I see more of my kids when they are in school than during the summer. lol!" 

and then there are THESE moms:

"Sum Sum SUMMER TIME!!!!=Time to PLAAAAAAY Whoop Whoop"

I have a confession here - I am not one of THESE moms. I absolutely tend to relate better and am one of THOSE moms. 

My life as a mom right now is really hard, but through this hard, I know in the very core of my being that right now is what God designed me for. It is my purpose. It is who I was knitted together in the womb to be. 

I am not good at it. Not at all. (Please - I really am not. I don't post about the screaming I do at my developmentally challenged child or the disdain I express at my trauma child's behavior or the lack of attention to my baby sometimes in the midst of the chaos and commotion.)

I am good at administrative tasks, in organizing and managing and accomplishing. I understand corporate strategy, can design an effective sales plan and train people with the best of them and am very good with financial statements. 

I am not good at nurturing. I stink at getting down on the floor and playing blocks. I don't like pretend games in the pool, dress up or princess tea parties. Don't even get me started on crafts....

But God really doesn't care what I think I am good at (or not good at). 

And God doesn't want me to be one of THOSE moms. 

God called me into this ministry because that is His design for my life. And He wants me to do it willingly and with joy in my heart and praising Him.

I am not sure how to exactly do that - but I think I will start by hanging out in real life with the THESE moms! I am blessed that God has already provided what I need to change the way I approach this time over the next two months. He has called me and He has equipped me - not by all of a sudden giving me the burning desire to make play dough figures (I hate play dough!!) - but by putting into my life some unsuspecting "THESE" moms who are going to all of a sudden find themselves inundated with invitations from me to do stuff!