There are THOSE moms (these are actually status' from friends) :
"Day 2 of summer vacation and if I had a dollar for everytime I have heard 'I'm bored' we could actually afford to go somewhere...moan..."
to
"Summer vacation was designed by teachers...not moms..."
to
"we have VBS this week and karate camp next week and ballet camp the week after and swimming lessons after ever day and art lessons after that - I think I see more of my kids when they are in school than during the summer. lol!"
and then there are THESE moms:
"Sum Sum SUMMER TIME!!!!=Time to PLAAAAAAY Whoop Whoop"
I have a confession here - I am not one of THESE moms. I absolutely tend to relate better and am one of THOSE moms.
My life as a mom right now is really hard, but through this hard, I know in the very core of my being that right now is what God designed me for. It is my purpose. It is who I was knitted together in the womb to be.
I am not good at it. Not at all. (Please - I really am not. I don't post about the screaming I do at my developmentally challenged child or the disdain I express at my trauma child's behavior or the lack of attention to my baby sometimes in the midst of the chaos and commotion.)
I am good at administrative tasks, in organizing and managing and accomplishing. I understand corporate strategy, can design an effective sales plan and train people with the best of them and am very good with financial statements.
I am not good at nurturing. I stink at getting down on the floor and playing blocks. I don't like pretend games in the pool, dress up or princess tea parties. Don't even get me started on crafts....
But God really doesn't care what I think I am good at (or not good at).
And God doesn't want me to be one of THOSE moms.
God called me into this ministry because that is His design for my life. And He wants me to do it willingly and with joy in my heart and praising Him.
I am not sure how to exactly do that - but I think I will start by hanging out in real life with the THESE moms! I am blessed that God has already provided what I need to change the way I approach this time over the next two months. He has called me and He has equipped me - not by all of a sudden giving me the burning desire to make play dough figures (I hate play dough!!) - but by putting into my life some unsuspecting "THESE" moms who are going to all of a sudden find themselves inundated with invitations from me to do stuff!
Hmmm...I not sure it's quite that simple as these and those. Here's what I think....we've had summers where we have had tons of things scheduled and I felt like I lived in the car but the kids were pretty happy. We've had summers when we have had loads of free time and virtually nothing scheduled and we were ALL miserable. And somehow over the years, I have found the balance that works for each child AND for me. I make a spreadsheet so I know who has what amount of activity and when. I purposefully leave weeks blank so we can sleep in and relax at the pool and go to the movies or ride bikes and do crafts. But LORD help me---- I could not do that all day, every day, for the whole summer. Some of my kids LOVE to be BUSY and some like down time. And I need some free time too so that I can re-charge and exercise or do my Bible reading or book club or clean the house.
ReplyDeleteI think it takes a while to figure out what kind of summer works for both you and your individual kiddos. And I think it is different for everyone. You'll find your stride Karen. It just takes time. And do NOT compare yourself to any other Mothers. Do what works for YOU! Comparison is the thief of Joy!
My kids definitely have stuff scheduled; they need the structure! It is more that my attitude about the summer needed to be adjusted. I don't think it makes a difference what my (or anyone else's!) actual summer plan looks like - it's my approach that I need to be mindful of!
DeleteI gotta fix my attitude too! I don't play blocks, never did play doll. I can however do crafts and I can teach things like baking. So I let a long ago babysitter teach my oldest daughter to play doll...we are doing school work this summer. If I forget a day I get told about it. (The 3 youngest love school)
ReplyDeleteDon't sweat it too much if you don't measure up to "these moms"
Mine need structure too...the dishwasher is on vacation this summer, and we/they clean a room each day. I'm making quilts (my part time job) because they know mom would like to earn the money for the plane ticket to bring little one home.
I love it, and I think your plan rocks!
ReplyDeleteKaren,
ReplyDeleteI get you - therefore I love you. there is a reason God called you and me to take a child by the hand while they go through some really tough stuff. We aren't fluffy, rainbow and unicorn moms. But when things get hard, look impossible, when a child needs someone that will get nose to nose with a doc or nurse that isn't quite "getting it"...that's us.When they need someone to have a straight to the point coming to Jesus meeting with a teacher about their perceptions VS reality of our childrens potential and abilities - that's us. We were made to take care of business - no matter what - tea parties - not so much. Going through all the medical procedures my daughter has been through and still has a head of her...I totally get it now. It takes a no nonsense, workhorse that has the ability to remove emotion, from the equation and move forward and get the job done. That is the only type of person that can do this on a daily basis. YOu have to be able to make decisions based on reality - not feelings. Corporate America trians you well for that. My days: Drop little son at school, shoot over to the doc's office, daughter gets 2 huge needles stuck in the back of her head, run her back to school, run myself to work, close the books and review the financials, pick up the kids, then dinner, go home and pack for weekend family wedding, shoot new leases to our tenents in our 2 rental properties. (somewhere in there husband comes home, eats, cuts the grass...yeah, whatever). Those are regular days - and I know yours are pretty similiar. The fact that you manage to get a blog post up is a miricle...the only time I get to do that is when my daughter has a surgery and I am forced to sit in a hospital room for a few days! Anyway, just wanted to let you know that you are the best person in the world to be standing in the gap for your girls because you will get the job done no matter what! Also you are teaching your girls how to plow through the hard stuff and make it to the other side. Not always fun but it is reality and they will be well prepared to accomplish whatever they want to in this life. You do not under estimate them, therefore they do not underestimate themselves. If our daughters didn't have moms like us to learn from - the world would eat them alive later down the road. OUr girls have a little different path to travel, they are going to need to be tough, confident, and secure. We can't raise shrinking violets, we can't raise over emotional over sensative sweet little fragile butterflies. Because of what you and I both know our girls are going to have to deal with down the road...they have to be very strong and very resiliant! All girls need to play princess and have fun tea parties at times but we have to show them how to be ready for life in very real ways also. You are showing them that - they are going to flourish because of the example you are setting for them...someone else can teach them how to make tissue paper flowers...and if not, they will live! And yes...So far - summer is hell, I have no idea what all these other moms are talking about! You are loved and prayed for - hang in there!
Tara
taralee815@hotmail.com
Every single time I have seen Katie over the course of the past several years she has been a little bit changed--a little bit calmer, a little bit more engaged, somewhat more involved in the tasks at hand--and it was visible, palpable and astonishing. You and Doug worked so hard to find for her the right schools, teachers, tutors, programs, diet and stimulation (or lack thereof). Sometimes it seemed as though you were banging your heads against the wall, but you just kept right on banging, defending her with lawyers, test scores, doctors' reports, and whatever else, pursuing the course that you believed would be best for her. You are astonishing and inspiring. There are three very lucky girls in the world and there are hoards of us who are privileged to know you and be your friends.
ReplyDeleteWith lots of love,
"Aunt" Roni
I loved this post!! I think the most important thing we are is "their moms." He knew exactly who they needed! Love you, friend!! Tara
ReplyDelete