Seeing with the Grace of Jesus

Today is Katie's first day of school. It came early this year due to district re-calendaring. 

It has been a good summer - for a lot of reasons, one of which is that it is short. 

Summers are hard - because they are so unstructured. Even with structure, they are not what school is for Katie. For her, and other kids with special needs - summers are really hard. For kids from trauma, summers are super hard. 

Summer time often means something different every day. It means surprises and seeing different people and going to new places and having new experiences. For a typical kids - those are awesome experiences. For a trauma kids and special needs kids - those are scary opportunities fraught with danger. 

So I, like a lot of moms with non-typical kids, celebrate the beginning of school. We are glad to have our kids go off to school. We know - on every level, this is better for our kids, our families and us.

So why then - do I still let words like this hurt me:

I am SO glad to see you post this (a friend posted she was sad to see summer break end)! It always irritates me to see parents beckoning the first day of school so that they can "ship off" their kids. It's nice to see someone wishing for more summer break!

I know the truth for my family - yet I can let a total strangers judgment of me hurt me (home schoolers' comments about "bonding and attachment" also fall into this category).

I know - and the people that know me know - that I love my children as fiercely as anyone can - even though I "ship" them off everyday to school. 

All our wonderful attachment and trauma professionals and special ed professionals and ABA therapists and speech therapist and psychologists and doctors agree that our kids need to be in school. Our family doctor told me outright that my body can't handle the stress of them being home every day (which is why I am always sick by the end of summer).

I know it's best for our kids.

Yet - I let a total stranger's words define me in that moment as a "bad, unloving mom". I would bet a dollar that she is a really nice, grace filled person. That if I knew her in person she would be my friend and be supportive of our family and even be horrified that her words had hurt me. 

ONce I got over myself. I started really thinking about this. 

And then I wondered about myself.

How many times have I done the exact thing? 

Made a statement about a situation that was totally justified in my mind - yet inadvertently judged someone I knew nothing about? 

Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged.

Judge others. The way I want to be judged.

Through the grace of Jesus. 

Because I am saved by the grace of Jesus, when I stand before God at the end of my days, I will be judged by God through the sacrifice made for me on the cross - through the lens of grace. 

So if that's how I am to be judged - how should I judge others? And do it I do that? 

Nope. Not at all. 

I am pretty sure that "others" mean - everybody - not just people I know. Everyone I think about or who might read my words. 

Do I approach everything I read on Facebook with the grace of Jesus? Do I comment with the grace of Jesus? Do I interact and react with that grace?

Do I see every rude store clerk or nasty driver through the eyes of God. 

Maybe that perfectly coiffed, botox filled, seemingly self absorbed woman at bible study is really fighting a battle every day to keep her wandering husband in her bed instead of someone else's.

Maybe that mom screaming at her kids in the grocery store just received an eviction notice because her ex husband missed yet another child support payment. 

Maybe that Lexus driver just found out that all his money in the world can't change a terminal diagnosis?

Maybe not. 

But because I claim the grace of Jesus, I need to do a better job at extending that same grace to everyone. 

Including the friend of a friend who reads my Facebook comments. 

Happy first day of school Katie! I know that you know how much I love you - even though I am happy you are back in school!! 

(And for those who might be wondering - she had an amazing first day of school! Her behavior this afternoon when she got home was the best it's been in a long time!)