The past 36 hours have been filled with moments - the moment when Katie came into the room, the moment she & Becky first interacted, the moments she has struggled, the moments I have struggled. Within all these moments, there are moments I am convinced she remembers her life before the orphanage. She will spontaneously do something that kids learn in a family - like jumping on the bed on top of mommy & cuddling up, or reaching over & giving a kiss. Somewhere she has memory of being with a family - and for a flash she lets herself go there again. There are other moments, where she gets inconsolable - and can't stand to be touched or held. There are moments when Becky wishes she was still an only child, and moments when she desperately wants to connect with a sister who has no idea what she is saying. There are moments when I wonder what I was ever thinking and how will I ever be able to manage, and moments when I am absolutely and unmistakably exactly where I know I should be.
Through all these moments, there is the everlasting and undeniable presence of Jesus. To him be the glory. It is His hands that do the work - for mine are far too small and unworthy for this task.
Karen,
ReplyDeleteLove seeing the girls together. They look like they are exactly where God always intended them to be. I LOVE what you wrote. It could not be better said. Praying for you here.
Love,
Kim
Yes Karen, you are exactly where God wants you to be. Any moment of doubt will only be that, just a moment and then it will be gone to be replaced with the sure knowledge that you are doing what God wants you to do.
ReplyDeleteKaren,
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you mean. Our experience with Gracie was so similar.
I remember one time in particular that Gracie was having one of her notorious "fits" in the taxi while we were still in Hohhot. I looked at Halie, an only child for 9 years, and I could see straight to her heart. I think I knew because I was thinking the same thing: What had we done?! So, I did all I could do. I prayed for reassurance and took a nap. I woke up a completely different person.
I guess what I'm trying to say is we all have those moments, and I think it's especially so when the child is a preschooler. They do remember, but are too young to possibly process everything. It won't take long.
Praying for you all!
Robin for the Millers in NC
Oh, what an amazing collection of moments. God is being glorified through you, truly!
ReplyDeleteHis strength is made perfect in weekness. 2 Cor. 12:9
My help comes from the Lord the maker of Heaven and Earth. Ps. 121
Barbra
p.s replied to thread over at FFTIA
Karen- Thanks so much for sharing your journey. Your girls are beautiful. What a blessed family!
ReplyDeleteWonderful moments!! Praise God is right!! Congratulations to all of you!
ReplyDeleteTwo beautiful sisters at this very special moment that the Lord foreknew!!! Know that we are praying for your family and your precious girls.
ReplyDelete((((HUGS))))
What a beautiful, honest post, Karen. May God continue to confirm that you are in His perfect and holy will. The girls are beautiful. I love them already!
ReplyDeleteKaren,
ReplyDeleteKatie is just precious! She is beautiful! I love the pictures and thank you for sharing these wonderful moments with us. I had happy tears for you, my friend! I know that God will give you all the strength you need. Can't wait until the Yingling girls come home!!! XOXO, Michelle